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| Only Children Group |
| Public online group |
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| My name is Stacey I'm an only child myself and while I didn't plan on having children I find myself with a beautiful daughter named Mikayla. I'm 33, and while I don't want her to be an only child knowing how lonely I was growing up my age combined with a very emotional pregnancy and post pregnancy to this day. I'm reluctant to have another child. The other side of that though is a feeling of guilt at being her only constant playmate which is growing tiring She loves babies and other kids which makes it worse. I know being an only child isn't the end of the world and certainly the potential emotional issues probably out way the need for a sibling. I also don't wish to be pregnant after 35. I have tried to find playgroups and have not worked out, but I'm still trying. Anyway no final decisions have been made. That's my story, I'm here for other opinions and support. This whole website is a blessing since I found it. |
| Posted by Stacey on 07/05/2007 02:06 PM
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Hey there
I understand your feelings of quilty I also dont wanna be prego really after 35 either and I am 35 NOW which sucks.
Waht was it like as an only child ???????
Laura |
| posted by laura on 07/05/2007 06:54 PM
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Hey Stacey,
I am one of six children, and I loved having so many brothers and sisters growing up , never a dull moment. But I have only one son, not by my own choice, my husband passed away of colon cancer when my son was only one, and I haven't had a chance to have another child. My son is five now, and he gets so lonely sometimes, I am also trying to start a playgroup for him, although I haven't had much luck yet, still he has lots of cousins, but they are all girls. No one can tell you what is best for you, but I know if I had the chance, I would have another one, because I don't know what it's like being the only child, all I know is that it was wonderful coming from a large family. Hey Laura, girlie! How ya doin"? |
| posted by Rebecca on 07/05/2007 07:49 PM
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Thanks guys, it was very lonely being an only child. I remember always asking for a brother or sister. My Mom wanted another child, but it wasn't in the cards. My Mother is very loving and involved in my life, but there is a lot of pressure I feel being an only child. You are the sole focus of your parents as far as kids in their life, and as a child you always want them to play with you. Now being an adult I love my Mom dearly, but I feel if I had a brother or sister she would have to spread her attention around which would sometimes be a blessing.
I learned how to be by myself, although I do have two cousins I'm close to; you don't get that everyday interaction.
I obviously don't know what it's like having a brother or sister on a daily basis, but I feel like I want my daughter to experience that.
I am still concerned not only with my age, but even more so with the emotional impact being that I had a very emotional pregnancy as well as post pregnancy. I guess what is meant to be will be.
I truly believe although I struggle daily, that my daughter is a gift from God. One that I didn't know I wanted. If another one is meant to be it will be. Part of me wants to leave the final decision to Him and see what happens. Anyway, as you can see I still struggle with this decision. That's why I'm here :) If anyone has more questions about life as an only child let me know. I promise it's not all bad LOL
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| posted by Stacey on 07/06/2007 10:09 AM
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| Oooh, you have me feeling bad for my son now!! I really wanted to have one more, hopefully I'll meet the right guy, like, tomorrow (lol), and I'll have that option. You're right, only children look to their parents as playmates, my son expects me to play with him ALL DAY LONG!! I play almost half the day, but I try to explain to him that mommy is an adult and that sometimes we don't want to play, or have something else to do. I try to encourage him playing on his own, but he doesn't like it too much. Were there ANY nice things about being an only child? Please say yes!! lol |
| posted by Rebecca on 07/06/2007 12:53 PM
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Yeah stacey Please say yes !!!!
Laura |
| posted by laura on 07/06/2007 01:05 PM
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| Yes of course. I'm very independent and strong (normally), I'm driven, loyal, and I can enjoy spending time by myself. Don't get me wrong it's not horrible, just can be lonely. I do feel that it's totally an individual situation for each person, and no one can make the decision for you. However input and advise is always helpful. I still don't know if I can handle another baby and until I feel like I'm ok again I don't feel I can make a final decision. I feel that me feeling like myself, and a connection to my daughter is more important than a sibling. However, if I'm able, I would feel blessed to have another wonderful, healthy, happy baby.I'm a sahm so if you guys want more input I'm usually around. She definitely wants me to play all day, I feel bad when I try to dishes or get something done. I hope as she gets a little older that no matter what the future holds she learns to entertain herself a little better. |
| posted by Stacey on 07/06/2007 09:01 PM
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| STACEY, OH MY GOODNESS I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU ON THE EMOTIONAL PREGNANCY AND post pregnancy. I lost my first son when he was 13 days old and then was blessed with a beautiful daughter. the pregnancy was very special but not without its scary emotions and doubts that come with any pregnancy. my hormones were so far out of wack and having hypo-thyroidism and only getting 1/8th of the dose i should have led to alot of weight staying with me as well as aches and pains and i had post pardom for over a year and still am fighting hard to conquer my feelings of lonliness and isolation and guilt. As a baby of five i had many years as a child feeling alone. even to thhis day and my family is close. I am so struggling with not having another. I am 34 and i know my body and mind cannot handle another pregnancy and i want one so bad my heart is broken for me , my hubby and my daughter. If I had my son still then there would be no struggle. |
| posted by judy on 07/20/2007 12:18 PM
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| By the way your daughter is beautiful as i am sure you are too. and it is so much more important for you to feel better and make that connection with your daughter for life than to give a sibling beacause you have to be ontop of your game to be a great mom to her and feel good about yourself and that is totally my goal. to be the best mom i can be for my Katie. thank you. so much for your imput it is helping me. |
| posted by judy on 07/20/2007 12:32 PM
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thanks for this input girls.
Judy im sorry for your lose. Im so haopy u were blessed with a beautiful little girl.
Keep your head up high
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| posted by laura on 07/20/2007 10:03 PM
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