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| In-Laws that try to butt in |
| Public online group |
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| Recently my mother in law sent my son a package in the mail filled with clothes (which is ok I guess), and toys that he won't be able to use until he is 7. I have asked repeatedly for them not to send more toys, especially those he can't play with and yet she still does it. In the last package she sent she wrote a note to my 8 month old son in which she literally said " I know that your mom said not to buy you anymore things right now but grandma loves you and is overruling what mommy says...." is it just me or is that just rude?! She also makes snide comments about how I feed my son homemade organic babyfood and that i keep a " poop chart" to cross refernce how what he has been eating affects his BM, so I can try to pinpoint allergic reactions to certain foods should they arise. My sons name is Quinnten, but I call him "pickle" and every time I do she follows by saying things like " He's a Quinnten not a pickle"....It really gets on my nerves, if you haven't noticed. Anyway, hooray for being able to vent! I know I will need to alot more since they plan on moving to our town in august!!!! |
| Posted by kelly on 07/05/2007 12:51 PM
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| I hear ya on that one. My daughter father and I are not together and they spoil her like no tomorrow which makes it really hard for my husband I when she comes home! |
| posted by Jeanette on 07/18/2007 08:27 PM
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I know what you mean. My in-laws stay with us for 6 months almost every year. So it can be VERY overwelehming.
I have two kids, my daughter is 5 years old. Every time I remind her of some rule that she breaks, my in-laws barge in and say "let it be, she is only a kid, she will learn with time". So this makes my daughter feel that she can brek rules. I don't give in and ignore what they are saying, but evertime I have to teach her something, its not only a battle with her, but with them too.
I tell them, that its ok for them to love her, but they cannot interfere in my decesions as my daughter is my responsibilty and i decide how things will be done. BUT it does not work.
My son is only 8 months, so thats not an issue yet. Though, I must admit that when they are home, I can leave my son with them and go to work tension free.
I really do not know what to do.
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| posted by Ekta on 07/26/2007 02:37 PM
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Ekta: I would not tolerate the in laws intereferring with my authority. This is what you say : "Mom, there is no need to feel like you have to defend her whenever I discipline her. No one should have to defend a child to its own mother, especially when that mother is only trying to raise her daughter." If things get ugly, then you have to put her in her place and tell her that she has no authority in your home.
Kelly: I have found, in my own experience, that when a grandparent says anything like that to a child and says it around that particular parent, it's not necessarily a rude gesture. It could simply be a grandma being very sassy, but funny. Of course she knew you'd read it:) Laugh a little! Read it again and just think of it as a joke. Also, the next time she sends you toys, keep them! Kids are so expensive, every little bit helps, even if it'll be yrs before they play with them. If you have no where to store them, ask her to send receipts too, in case he "already has that toy" and just take them back, if possible. You can keep the money for your son and put it in a bank. As far as the "pickle" thing goes, that is rude. What does she want to be called? Mamaw? Grammie? Granny? Which ever one it is, start calling her something else when you're holding your son and say "OH lookie! It's Granny!" LOL Somethings just have to be let go and others, well, sometimes you have to let a person know in a subtle manner that they aren't being very nice! |
| posted by Brenda on 07/31/2007 01:41 AM
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| Jeanette, my dad ALWAYS gave my daughters cookies, even though I didn't want them to have them. Let me say one thing:My dad passed away recently. I'm now glad that I never told him not to give them those cookies. |
| posted by Brenda on 07/31/2007 01:45 AM
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