My daughter will be 2 on saturday.  We just got back from a 2 week vacation in North Carolina.  While we were there we were doing something almost every day and had day long activites and my dad was there so she got to spend a lot of time with granpda.  Now that were home, montana, and the weather isn't so great we haven't had as much outdoor activites to do.  I've bought her numerous coloring books, i color with her, i build blocks with her, she loves to "do the dishes" so i let her do that when it's time for me to clean the kitchen.  But she's so unbearbly crabby i just don't know what to do with her.  If she does something she knows she's not supposed to do, like get into the dvd's or scream at the top of her lungs, or i tell her to give me one second to get her some juice or her lunch or anything really, or i tell her no she throws herself on the floor and has a full on tantrum.  She didn't used to do this.  She used to be a pretty calm child, and only had trantrums when she was sick.  She doesn't have a fever, she has a little bit of a runny nose but thats her allergies.  I just don't know what to do, i find myself losing patients with her very quickly.  She's the worst in the mornings about a hour after she wakes up and about 2 hours before bedtime.  She only takes one nap a day and thats usually 2 hours.  I just don't know what to do.  Is this just terrible twos or am i missing something.

It sounds like maybe the two of you are just going through an adjustment period to get back into a normal routine.  It is to be expected after deviating from your routine for 2 weeks.  I don't think it is the terrible twos.  Honestly, I think that is just a way for people to blame bad behavior of their child on something other than themselves and the way they handle it. Not to say that children do not start to act differently at that time.  They are beginning to become independant and they need to show that.  They are also starting to test boundaries and see what they can get away with.  Their behavior still has to be addressed though, rather than just explained away.

My advice is to keep things as routine as possible until she gets back to her normal self.  On days when she is really bad, you may need to add an extra nap time in, but try to be patient, and when it runs out, put her in a place where she can not get hurt and give yourself a 3-5 minute time out.  It's important that you not give in to everything she wants just to keep her from fussing.  My son is 2.5 and when he throws a fit about wanting something, I always tell him that he does not get what he wants by whining, and then I walk away.  When he comes back and ask in a normal polite way, I either give it to him, or explain to him why he can not have it.

I hope this helps and you are able to get things back to normal soon.

Hi.  My son is 10month, so I can't give you any advise about the terrible 2's, but I did go on many trips with him (San Jose, Hawaii and Japan from L.A.) to know that his behavior changes each trip, especially his sleeping habit.  My Ped said it takes infant/toddler a lot longer than adults to recover from change of routine (like 2 weeks).  Just in case it is the readjustment to routine issue, and not the terrible 2, my advise to you is to do the best you can and be patient with her as you already are, and stick to routine that you can keep at home.  Good luck to you...

I totally agree with Casey! Good post! I find that a lot of my friends blame their toddlers behavior on the "terrible twos" and I just think that it just a convenient excuse. My son just turned two. He is definitely a lot more opinionated about what goes on in his world but when he acts out, he is acting out (plain and simple). If you don't discipline your children, the "terrible twos" will turn into a lot more parent/teacher meetings in school. When my son acts up (throws things in anger/whines about something), I just tell people that he is having a bad day. Then I sit him in time-out and explain to him why his behavior in inappropriate. If he whines before we go somewhere, I tell him, "we don't have to go to such and such place. We can stay home! Fine by me! Or you can put a smile on and we can have a good time going out!"

I agree that kids, after a vacation or even when you have visitors (like I do when my in-laws are in town) in your home, can have a hard time adjusting back to your old routine. I recommend really sticking to a tight rigid schedule over the next couple weeks. It might help you get back into the rythym of things!

we've never really had a "tight" schedule we just kindof do what the weather allows, and how she is feeling that day.  If she's just not feeling up to doing anything we don't do much (which isn't very often) and if the weather is terrible, like it is today, most of our activites are indoors. either at home or we go to McDonalds for the play place.  We do use timeouts, and when timeouts are over with i try to explain to her why she was put in timeout and why she can't do whatever it was she was doing.  Sometimes it works and sometimes she gives me this look like "ha yeah right mom"  When she does something really bad she actually puts herself in timeout and then tells me shes sorry afterward.  Hopefully this is just a re-adjustment period.