Hello, I'm needing advice from some of you who are experienced in cosleeping and breastfeeding.

I really need my 5 mo old to sleep in the crib, both for naps and at night. She will only fall asleep if I nurse her or if she's really tired, in her carseat when I'm driving around. After nursing her to sleep, if I am really careful, I can lay her in her crib, but she only sleeps for 20 minutes before she wakes up cranky. If I hold her while she sleeps, she'll sleep 2-3 hours.

I tried a modified CIO several weeks ago (either sitting in the room with her while she cried or patting her back while she cried), and she did cry herself to sleep eventually a couple times. But she got to the point that if I carried her into the nursery she'd start crying. The last time she seemed like she was almost hysterical when I picked her up after 5 minutes of hard crying. After CIO she'd be very clingy for the next couple days. Obviously, that wasn't the right thing to do.

However, I can't continue to hold her 24/7. Any ideas on how to get her to fall asleep on her own?

Thanks in advance!

Oh the "hard crying" part made me sad  :(

First off, good job breastfeeding - it's obvious your little one gets comfort from you through this  :)

I'm VERY against CIO in any form, but I understand your frustration as well.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but you are in an Attachment Parenting group, so here it goes.  Hold her,soothe her,rock her, nurse her, etc....whatever it takes to get her down happily. What about co-sleeping?  Why does she have to be in her nursery at 5 months old?  You could try one of the co-sleepers that connects to the bed, that way you're close by, but not having to hold her in your arms the whole night...might be worth a try.

Good luck - it will get easier - enjoy this time with your little one who needs you so much 

I have the same exact problem. My daughter is 7 months and doing the same thing and CIO did not work for her either. I thing I have done, is put her to sleep in the bed at naps, then I leave here there to sleep and I can go do things. The only problem with that is that she only sleeps 30 min. not as much as she should or would with me there. As for moving her to her crib, I have not had luck with that yet, so good luck, and let me know if you found a way to do it. Good luck.

I just typed out a response, but I hadn't logged-in, so I think I lost my response!! :(  Hopefully I will not be posting twice now .. but I don't think I am.

I totally understand wanting your LO to sleep in the crib.  You've got to find the balance that works for you.  It is SO nice to stretch out in bed w/o constantly waking up wondering if LO is too close to the pillows!  And at nap-time it is so great to have an actual break. 

We had a similar challenge with my DD when she was around 6 mo.  I was having soo much trouble getting her to go down for her naps.  She was going to a babysitter at the time, so i asked the bs how she put DD down and she said, "i just lie her down - if she's tired, she'll go to sleep; if she's not tired, she plays."  Sounds great, right?!

I eventually found 2 things: timing and expectation.  I would try and lie her down JUST as she was getting tired - not when she was over-tired.  The second thing was to set the expectation.  I would "set" her bedroom - lights dimmed, white noise on - then I would hold her in a side-cradle position: belly to belly, head in the nook of my arm.  I would sing the ABC song soft and sweet while swaying her -- then just lie her down and walk out of the room.  The first few times she would cry - I would wait a very short time (maybe 30 seconds at most) then calmly go back in.  Depending on how upset she was, I'd either pick her up and repeat the whole procedure, or stroke her cheek and sing the song again.  Then leave and wait maybe 45 seconds.  I never had to let her cry for more than 2 minutes.

Our daughter stayed asleep for naps - but was a chronic night waker til ... well, she still wakes at night .. once or twice.  (She coslept until 1 yr).  When she wakes at night, my husband goes in and sings her a song (sometimes he'll pick her up and hold her, sometimes just lie her back down). 

I think the most important thing is to set the expectation.  It's nap-time.  You believe in your LOs ability to sleep during naptime without being in your arms -- eventually this faith will transmit to your child and they'll be empowered to go to sleep on their own.  I've always heard that babies can pick-up on your emotions very easily -- they smell your fear!  So try and be confident that they are fine and they can do this!

I will also tell you, my DD is almost 2y now and it is SO NICE!!! -- at naptime and bedtime, we just take her to her room, read a story, sing a song, and lay her in bed.  Good night!

Best of luck!

It's great to know I'm not the only one having this problem!  This gives me some new things to try - maybe one of them will work.  Thank you ladies!

maaaan, i cant let her CIO. i hear her crying then i KNOW its gunna get to that like freaking out crying and i just cant it breaks my heart. but we have her crib right next to my bed...some nights she wont sleep in it but the more i try the longer she does...i noticed that i have to be consistant at first she was like your LO HATED her crib but since i kept trying she became more okay with it...i started with naps then prepared myself for a bad night the night i started trying the crib. Sanlaya is the same way i nurse her right before bedtime and she knocks out. I wish there was some magical definet answer for this but all i can say is keep trying...