ladies, i know a few weeks, i wanted to share with everyone that i was pregnant. i've had a miscarriage and i am so devstated.  i don't even know what to do....i want to feel like there is a purpose to this b/c i feel like it's my fault. i wasn't sure about whether or not i could handle another baby and i was scared about having another one and i just i just didn't realze how much i love this one, too.  i'm so sorry for all my bad thoughts........i am so sorry

I totally understand.. I too had a miscarriage between my daughter and my son.. It is devastating.  But, now that I have my son I think it happened for a reason.  If I didn't have the miscarriage I wouldn't have had him, and he is such a great kid.  You too will get through it.. I went into a depression for a while, but then got pregnant with my son and that helped.  Your miscarriage could have been do to some kind of defect and look at it like that. If you can.. I know it is hard.  If you start to get depressed go see your dr. and he can prescribe you something.. Mine did and it did help.  Sorry, to hear about your loss, but you to will get through this time.. And your husband might not understand, mine didn't but, it is different when you are the one carrying the baby.. good luck and talk to people you will find out it is more common than you think.. lol

I am very sorry for your loss.  I completely understand.  i lost two pregnancies while trying to have children.  I still age the first one in my head, because I was further along with that one.  You will get through this, but it will take time.  It is much more common than you think.  As soon as I began to open up about what I had gone through, people came out of the woodwork to tell me their stories of lost pregnancies.  Do your best to take care of yourself and get help from your doctor if you feel depressed or you have trouble finding things to feel happy or motivated about.  I have a beautiful little 5 1/2 yr old girl and a monkey of a 2.5 yr old boy.  Things happen for a reason.  My children have 2 guardian angels with them at all times, and I firmly believe that they saved my little boy when I was woken up by my daughter's scream in her sound sleep.  I had been bleeding in my sleep and would have lost him as well.

HUGS to you!!!

I am sorry too- although those words cannot help with the pain. I had a miscarriage right after I had told everyone I was pregnant. Then a week later 9/11 happened and within a month my husband lost his job. I try to believe that things happen for a reason, but that didn't make it any easier at the time. We didn't get pregnant again for another 7 years, and I had just about given up hope. But now I have a lovely 4 mo old daughter. Just remember that it's not your fault, and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it from happening. Just one of those crappy things in life we have no control over.

Lalitha I am so very sorry for your loss.  I wish I could be there to hold you, hug you and cry with you.  I have been through what you are going through and it's very, very painful.  No amount of words, encouragement or support can change the way you feel and many people around you won't know what to say so they will just say nothing at all...and many times I think that is worse.

I lost my first baby on Christmas Day of 2000 (His name was going to be Noah).  I was mortified and didn't know how to cope.  I went through a year long depression, thought about quitting college and withdrew form everyone.  Shortly after that I found out my sister was pregnant and that hurt so bad...my family was no support at all.  I seriously thought about taking my own life!!!!

I lost my second child on December 4, 2003 and his or her brother in January of 2004...yep, I was pregnant with twins.  I almost went off the deep end with that loss.  Some how I made it through again...thank my lucky stars my husband was there for me because nobody else was...and then I found out my brother was having another baby!  Again, another blow.

I lost my next child in June of 2004 and again, devastated beyond belief.  I wasn't sure I could deal with losing another child (the doctors told me I wasn't able to have children) so I gave up on ever being a mother and knew God had another plan for me...He DID!!  I had my first son May 31, 2005!!!  I was elated and prayed to St. Gerard through my whole pregnancy...I had to have this child and I knew God WANTED me to be a mom!

Then to my amazement I got pregnant again, and again I prayed to St. Gerard through my whole pregnancy and I was blessed with another boy on March 29, 2007.  Life was grand and I was FINALLY a mommy, twice!  Two weeks later we lost my dear mohter-in-law and I went through a very bad bout of depression and didn't want to go on with life...she was like a real mom to me...long story.  A few months later I found out I was pregnant again, we were so very excited and told everyone!  We were going to be parents again...a little sooner than we had planned but that was okay!  I was still very depressed from the loss of my MIL but I knew this was part of God's plan and we were supposed to have another baby...for my dear MIL.  Sad to say but we lost that child on 12-28-07.  I was hurt but knew in my heart there was a reason for it and I was trying to accept what God had sent my way.

We finally realized we had 2 beautiful children and we should be happy with the children God has given us so we started making plans for family vacations, home renovations and everything in between.  Life was good for us and we knew it.  To my amazement I found out I was pregnant again on 2-21-09.  So far everything has gone well and I have had no signs of any problems.  I pray all of the time that God will see me through this and give us one last child.  I have put my trust in God's hands and he will do what he sees fit.

So you see, a lot of us have been there and had to deal with that in one way or another.  I just wish I knew what to say or do for you, but like I said, nothing anyone says or does will ease the pain you are feeling.  I will say a prayer for you and your family and ask God to bring you through this difficult time.

Hugs to you and yours.

it is NOT your fault at ALL.  im sorry you have to go thru this, i had one before my daughter and it hurts so bad because you feel like you could have done something.  truth is, nature took its course, there was a reason that sometimes we dont know.  hang in there and pls get some counseling because it helps.

I am so so so sorry for your loss!!!  Please please remember this is not your fault!  So many people have been through this, even though you feel like you are alone you are not.  I will be praying for you and your family.   God Bless

I am sooo!!! I have been there and it's NOT your fault. When I m/c I also blamed myself and its hard to get over that but trust me it's NOT your fault. Everything happens for a reason and this isn't the be all end all. Good luck and we're here if you need us!! ****HUGS*** 

Lalitha, Been there many times with miscarriage.  I still remember the first one it was devasting but it isn't your fault.  I can relate to the feelings but understand it is grief.  When we are pregnant it is always normal to think can I handle having this child but those thoughts don't cause us to miscarry. 

I don't know why but I do know Faith and as you said there is a reason helped me. 

Before we had our Daughter, who will now be 6 in April, I miscarried.  Then I got so excited I was pregnant again and the Drs. had me as "high risk" due to age, thryoid condition and the previous miscarriage.  I still remember being so excited going for a check up on my birthday and the Dr could barely find the words to tell me the pregnancy wasn't viable. 

So we were induced and our Yvonne was still born just after midnight.  Talk about depression/anxiety.  Years ago I suffered panic attacks when my Dad passed.  Now they came back because I just went through a miscarriage, the loss of my Mom and now the loss of our Daughter.  Also we moved because of my husbands work and he had to go to another state for training for almost 3 months. 

There I was alone and expecting to be a new Mommie.  I still remember my arms aching but I choose to get online and start a support chat for depression/anxiety.  Because I started to get the panic attacks and I had to go shopping and stuff by myself so I wanted to remember the skills I used to get out of the house again.

Anyway, it helped me and other and I started teaching classes about overcoming anxiety online and even got a book published.

Now if someone told me that when I first lost our Yvonne and oh I just completely broke down at the gravesite that I would make it I would have said no way.  But time and I know it sounds so cliche but it really does heal.  I still grieve the miscarriages and the loss of Yvonne. 

Yes, I even had another miscarriage between Charlyne and Jacob.  I swear when the DR told me I was going to miscarry I didn't want to hear it.  But this post is getting kinda long.  I still grieve those losses but embrace my 2 Children so much.  That is why I really wanted to be a SAHM.  After all we went through to have these wonderful kids I just can't picture myself putting them in daycare.

Why this stuff happens I don't know but let yourself grieve just don't choose to let it take the happy moments.  There really is a time to grieve and right now you need that time.  Just please do one thing and don't blame yourself OK.

T/C you are in our thoughts and prayers.

thank you guys for all your thoughts and your prayers.  my husband called my parents and his parents to let them know and i am just not able to face anyone or talk to anyone right now.  i am giving myself today to just cry and do what i have to do so that tomorrow i can reassure my 2 and a half year old.  i know it sounds silly but i just didn't know that i would take it this hard.  i feel shell shocked and really unlike myself. i am a roll with the punches kind of person but my thoughts keep going around and around in my head.  like, this morning, i woke up thinking about my baby and whether i would have a good nausea day or a bad nausea day and excited about hearing the heartbeat for the first time and seeing the ultra sound.  i didn't even have any symptoms except mild cramping and back ache...no bleeding...this is going to sound so trite but i never really expected it to happen to us b/c i had already had a healthy pregnancy.  i feel so mixed up...lost and guilty and sorry and sad and i think i am just writing so that i can spit it out and get it out without people looking at me and the mess i am making of myself.  my husband has been wonderfula nd my little guy keeps running over to give me hugs and kisses and i feel grateful that i have them. i know i have to learn something from this....i am just not listening right now.

I think it is healthy to mourn the loss of the baby, there is nothing wrong with giving yourself some time to cry and even focus on what you need and how you feel.  You have been through alot physically (even if you didn't really feel it) and emotionally.  Lots of thoughts and prayers*

i am sure that the baby you lost,is in heaven, and knew/+knows that you love him/or her. i am sure god will give the best care,and even play with your child. (i have lost one in the past, and i keep this in mind/heart.)