Well I am a SAHM who is pretty much pooped out by the time my husband gets home hence I have absolutely no libido. My husband and I have sex maybe once a month. I know this sounds totally boring but I was considering scheduling a sex night once a week to give us a jump start say like Wednesdays. I have read sometimes you just need to start even if you don't feel like it to get back in the groove even if it's a quickie. Does anyone here have a scheduled sex night? If so, how is it working out?

wow i feel the same way....my husband and i werent able to keep our hands off eachother but now that we are parents i really couldnt care less about sex...but that does sound like a good idea as sad as it may sound to schedule a sex night...i might just give that a try!lol

Goodness. sure is nice to hear other moms with the same problem. It seems like the longer you go to bed and just go to sleep and the longer you go with out sex, the harder it is to get it going again. It's almost awkward. And, yes, for me even if I dont want to, just starting it gets it going again. And, scheduling sex, as silly as it sounds, is a good idea. I tried that last night, but again, was to tired, so we went to bed :)

thats sooo tru it is almost akward!! and i almost dont want to suggest scheduling it in cuz im the one thats always too tired or i "have a headache"

LOL I understand that! I don't know about you guys, but I hear..."remember when we use to this or that" like I always have to be remined of how it "use" to be LOL... ummm maybe my hubby should join a guys club so he sees that he is not the only one :)

OMG, I thought there was something wrong with me!  I'm expecting #3 and I have no idea how I got pregnant...seriously!  I know 'how', but I don't even remember having sex the night I was supposed to have gotten pregnant, how sad is that!!  lol

To be honest with you, the thought of 'scheduling a sex night' makes me even more tired!!  ROFL!!!  I know part of it is I'm pregnant and at that tired point in my pregnancy, but the other part is I go at it all alone.  Don't get me wrong, he's a good husband but doesn't put forth the effort like he should.  I have tried everything to get him to help more and it's like trying to teach an elephant to fly...it's never going to happen!

I know the longer I 'go without it' the harder it is to get in the mood, but even getting it started or the thought of getting it started makes me want to crawl under the blankie and just snooze!  How do you 'get it started' when you REALLY could care less about getting it!!!  Oh my word I must be a freak!!

Well I totally don't feel like having sex ever but I know the few times we do it I always feel closer to my husband the few days after so I think it would help with the overall marriage if we were intimate more often. Plus, like everyone has commented the longer you go the more awkward it becomes and it turns into a vicious cycle. I don't want to end up having a completely sexless marriage because I do think it is important but I feel funny even bringing up a schedule to my husband.

Suz I'm with ya sister!  I know it's important for a marriage and that's one of the things that will keep your man at home but really, what sounds better...sleep or schedule making!  LOL

Just kidding ladies.  I would love to talk to my husband about a 'sex night' but I know the minute he hears the sound of the letter 's' he's going to be all over me like flies on poop!  I will talk to him...I promise...but maybe in 10 years!  :o)  Just kidding!!  You are all very right, we do need to set up a 'sex night' and I really should talk to him about it.  I just think I would be more willing to set that night if I knew he was more willing to help me out a little bit more.  One thing I do tell him when he wants the goods and I'm tired: Dude, when you start acting like a husband and father you will get the perks!  That usually works for a day or two but not much longer.  Oh well.

Great topic though...something I would have been to shy to bring up!  You girls are the best!!!  xoxoxo

so glad to know that i am not the only one, but honestly sometimes i'm the one who wants it and he goes to bed without picking up on it. I have tried a romatic bath for two but he was done before me and went in and went to sleep so that idea didn't work.

i think we will try scedualing it is a good idea specially since we are expecting our second baby and have moved so much that i still don't have a babysitter and no granparents closer than 250 miles.

good luck and i hope it works for you.

I have three kids six and under and the third one came along as a result of a once-in-six months lapse...  :)

I don't schedule a sex night, but since the third one came along I had so much trouble working up interest that I began to let my husband know when I think I might feel up to it and describe the conditions necessary... "Don't stay up till 11:30 playing xBox or watching the Daily Show, if you want it to happen tonight be in bed by 10." 

He hasn't missed once and I always honor the deal.  It's gotten more fun lately, I can tell you that...

HUSBAND AND I STARTED THIS AFTER MY SECOND AND MISCARRIAGE. JUST DIDN'T SEEM TO WANT IT ANYMORE.SO BEFORE OUR 3RD FINALLY CAME WE DECIDED WE WOULD TAKE SOME TIME OUT EVERY SUNDAY(IT'S FAMILY DAY RIGHT)LOL. IT SEEMS TO WORK WE CAN GET FIRED UP ABOUT IT. KIDS IN BED MOVIE SOMETHING. THIS WAY WE CAN CONCENTRATE ON EACH OTHER(NOT AS MOM AND DAD).IT HAS WORKED SENSE IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR.

My husband once folded four loads of laundry for me while I hosted my book club and he was thoroughly thanked...  I would definitely put that out there.  Nothing says "turn-on" like a man folding baby clothes.  :)

Can't say I am in the same boat but scheduling I hear works great and then the more you keep to it the more speratic it becomes.

I read an article that if you have an active sex life while pregnant you will most likely keep it after the baby is born. It is true here we have sex avg. 2-3 times a week sometimes more. and we have a very demanding 18 month ols to work around so I will admit we cheat because he works from home so we get more "nap time" chances than most couples.

Good Luck on scheduling it though and don't get me wrong sometimes I am not in the mood but I just do it anyway because I know the end result is an awesome feeling.

yeah,me and my husband have to schedule our time together too,so,i know what your going through. 

I MAY HAVE RESPONDED INCORRECTLY. SUNDAY IS NOT THE ONLY DAY. THAT'S JUST A GIVEN!!! WE HAVE IT WHEN OUR  LITTLE ONES 8 ,5 AND 13 MONTHS DECIDE TO GO TO BED .ACTUALLY WE HAVE IT A LITTLE MORE HOWEVER, MY HUSBAND LIKES TO BRAG. HE IS A CABINET MAKER (ALOT OF MEN THAT ACT LIKE THEIR IN HIGH SCHOOL).OUR BEST COVER UP ,SINCE THEY ARE SO YOUNG IS ;DADDY NEED'S HELP SHAVING HIS HEAD. IT MAY BE A QUICKY BUT IT WORKS!!! MY HUSBAND LIKE'S A BALD CLEAN HEAD.

I am so glad this topic came up.  I had a c-section and have been scared to have sex since.  But I am feeling more up to it now, but as most of you have said it feels awkward.  Any suggestions.  It's been 10 mos

Keep trying because it gets more fun the more you do it, and try some of the KY products, like the Warming Touch and the Yours & Mine.  :)

I can't relate at all, but I hope this works out for you!

Cindy

Thanks for all your tips.  The hubby and I talked about our lack of action and we realize that we can't go to bed at 11 and not expect that both of us are just going to crash.  BEing from the over 40 group, and new to married life and a new baby we need to schedule time together, so we are setting aside Friday night as our date night and night to go up to bed at 9.  I am so glad I saw your advice.  We had a good conversation.