Hi I am a single mother of my beautiful 10 month old Son. I am in a state where i  moved to be with his father 2345 miles from my family and friends. Just looking for someone who understands.

I totally understand.  I moved here to FL for my ex's job (about 3000 miles away from friends/family)  Now I am stuck here, unable to sell my house, and have very little support close by.  It is very lonely sometimes.

Sites like these, emails and phone calls back home, and the smile on my daughter's face is what gets me through the day.  If you ever need anyone to talk to, write anytime!  

Angie 

Thanks. For the longest time i was searching on the Mommy and me website. NO success!!! I just would like some adult conversation, we are actually in a custody battle. He is so spiteful and vindictive. I feel like i totally lost my self in all of this. I am trying to be strong for my son, but can't help to ask sometimes why me??? I am usually the woman people would refer to as Strong. However, since we broke up a year ago i lost me. All i want is my son. He left me for some girl when i was six months pregnant and some might think i have every right to be bitter but i chose the to be optimistic and live my life with my son. I just wish i had some kind of support. I can't believe i moved up here. I am in the same boat as you i have to sell the house. He has yet to contribute to my son, yet he wants him. Although, i'm sure i will be granted primary custody it still hurts to know i'm going through this all alone. I have friends and family that i talk to but it's not the same as hugging someone and just crying out for once and telling me it is going to be ok.  Thank you for the open arms. How did you handle it? What is your situation...

Achley

My story is long..but here goes...

I have been seperated for about a year now.  He just woke up one morning and decided he didn't like being married anymore.  He says he started feeling like that when I was about 3 months pregnant, but he didn't tell me he felt that way, just started not coming home, hanging out at porn shops, picking fights with me all the time...etc. A little after my daughter's first birthday, we finally got in a big fight about everything and he moved into the guest room.  Needless to say, he has stayed there!  Unfortunately, we can't sell our house and can't either one of us afford to move into a new place while we still have this huge mortgage, so we are just sort of putting up with each other until it sells.  It's not all bad, I got to finish school and really I hardly see him.  My ex doesn't want custody or even have my daughter for the weekends.  Just wants to pick her up from daycare until I get home and send me a check every month.  (She's a busy toddler, I guess a few hours at a time is all he can handle.) 

I know what you mean about the phone not being the same as a big 'ol hug from someone who really cares.  I went to a psychologist for a while, that helped some, but it was hard for me to find a sitter for my daughter, so I finally quit going.  The one thing I learned from her (Let me save you some money lol!)  it takes time to get over it.  I don't know how long you guys were together, but my ex and I were together for 15 years!  This guy hurt you and you have a right to go through all the emotions: anger, hurt, resentment and eventually acceptance.  I have also come to the conclusion that everything happens for a reason and that there is a better plan for me out there...instead of wasting time with someone who doesn't give a crap!  Like you, I also realized how much I have really lost myself over the years.  Without him around, I don't know who I really am anymore!  I think I sort of changed myself a little to be with him, not even realizing it.  Every once in awhile now though, when I'm with friends or sometimes by myself I see a glimpse of the old me (the one before I met him!) and I realize that I am actually happier!  This is a super long post, sorry.  As you get to know me you will find that I love to talk!

Why does your ex want custody of your son?  He's the one who left and abandoned his family!  No judge will take your son from you!  Try not to worry.  Just picture the day when the battle is over, the house is sold and you are with your family again.  That's what I do!

Angie

 NO worries i love to talk as well. Actually we had the custody battle yesterday . He recieved every other weekend but went in their lying. It will eventually backfire. I truly believe he wants his son to be spiteful. IF anyone deserves to be bitter and hateful it is me. However, it takes so much effort so i live on!!! I cant even explain the hurt he put me through in words. I cried and cried until i thought i was cried out, then it would start all over again. I totally understand. I sometimes look back when i have idle time( sitting around twindling my thumbs) i wish and see how much i changed. Slowly but surely i changed my self for him as well. It happened in little incriments that i didn't notice until i was without him. I put a big part of me aside, my dreams on hold. IT's one thing to do it for your child ,but a man!!! Before i realized it i was depressed. I went to a psycologists as well. I was afraid depression would take over. I wanted to talk to vent to let it out. I wanted to stop crying. Times i would seek logical explanations for a very unstable person. I was hurt...AND ONLY  a person who has truly been hurt will understand that word has fear and baggage behind it. I try to stay on the positive side as well. Sometimes the feeling of being overwhelmed consumes me. He harasses me calls and tries to get me to lash out on him. I wish to be happy. There were times i wish we could go back to the way things were..after a year and a half passed by i realized if we got back together what would i do with him. Loose it again and end up where i was but probably worse.Lewis (my ex) used to pick fights excessively. I mean every darn time we talked. It was ridiculous i actually started wondering if maybe it was me. In situations were i never would have second guessed myself before him, i started doing it. I wanted what i had worked for. I wasnt about to put all this work into this relationship and let it go. Then he got emotionally abusive and for the sake of my kid i let go, or at least tried. It 's funny how many people are in your shoes. Thank you so much. We didn't communicate for a while until he brought this court stuff up. I moved up here for him so of course he has family here to help him take care of my son. Other than that he wouldn't last one day in my shoes. I have my moments. Moments where i fell strong, times where i get weak. SLowly but surely im learning life goes on. THe sun still sets and rises weather im up or down. I try not to let his stuff control  my attitude as much anymore. I look to find the positive in little things. In reality at times i feel sorry for him. Evil is not repayed with blessings. Fate has a way of making karma come back around. I wish no bad to him , just for him to acknowledge he was wrong. (wishful thinking huh) ha ha!!! So you just keep going? I hate it the whole custody battle lt's so manipulative. He has no wants for my son only to keep hands on me. NOt that he wants or loves me( if so he needs to look deeper into that definition) but he wants to manipulate me.

Well please do keep in touch!!!

Achley

Achley,

Just wondering how you're doing.  Haven't seen you post in a bit. 

I have some news...my ex decided to stay in the house, so I am free to move home as soon as I can find a job!  I am happy and scared all at the same time.  I have never lived by myself before, but I will be around family so I think it will be alright.  It just goes to show that my ex wants very little to do with my daughter.  I think my statements of "it will be nice to have you close by to babysit when I need someone" really helped him make the decision to stay here so he won't have to deal with her on a regular basis.  He will get her for a couple of weeks in the summer or at Christmas to play with her and then send her back home.  And then he started complaining when I showed him how much he would have to be paying in child support.  What don't these guys get about being a parent??