I can't stand my mother-in-law. We have not gotten along much since I married her son. Which was a year ago in Jan. From the first month she has caused so much conflict between my husband and I. My mother-in-law and I have differing views on how to raise children. She wants to see my daughter whenever she wants and I think she only needs to see her once a month if that is possible. I have tried to work with her and get along with her but once things don't go her way with being able to come out she gets mad and calls her son and complains to him. It has gotten to the point that when I email her telling her she can't come out for a visit because we have plans she calls her son that night saying she misses him and wants to see HIM and our daughter and asks what we are doing on the weekend. That's when she can come out if we don't have plans. Which she doesn't think we should have plans and a life without her being involved. She has casued my husband and I be on the verge of getting a separation or divorce almost every month since getting married. She says things about me and I feel like my husband needs to stand up for me to her? And she told him to man up to me. I don't know what to. I don't have that great of a relationship with my husband because of her mostly. Any advice?

How lucky were Adam & Eve to not have to deal w/ in-laws, right? LOL. Anyway, does your MIL live far from you? How about setting a day or 2 a month for her? Like every first weekend of the month she can visit or you go visit? My friend takes her daughter to her paternal grandmas house every Wed and that works out real good for the both of them.

LOL Aint that the truth! She lives about an hour or so away. Well I try to do something like that. I let or know what days work for us and if it doesn't work for her she gets all pissed about it. Like this month I told her that this past Saturday the 14th or the 27th would be ok for her to come out. She picked the 14th but then my husband at to go to work that day so I told her it wouldn't work. Ten mintues later (no exaggeration) she calls saying I never let her come out. She is a nurse that works nights and she also does hair so our schedules conflict alot because I'm young and want to have a life outside of parents which isn't going to well because the only people I know know my parents or my huisbands parents. It totally sucks and I wish I could move.

I know how you feel. My husband and I are going through a difficult time once again because of the way we live. He wants to see his family/ parents every week. I don't want to. I never see my family. If I'm lucky I see mine once a month. We've talked about divorce and everything. The problem in our marriage is my mother in-law also and he doesn't think that. He thinks it's me. My husband stands up to her once in a blue moon but other then that I'm on my own. I wish I could only see my mother in-law once a month lmao! She is now switching from a full time job to a part time job and I'm losing my mind. She also talks crap behinde my back. But I can tell you she was not like this before I married her son either. I don't know what the hell happens to them. my goodness. I can't really give you any advice since I'm in the same situation. Just keep letting your voice be heard and don't let your husband think it's your fault. because it's not. I think the biggest thing about our mother- in -laws is there family (her and her husband) must not be getting along or something. Mine has to be in control over everything.. And I personally think it's because she doesn't have control of hers. Good luck!

Samantha I can relate to having a mother-in-law that gets on your nerves.  All I have to say is keep in mind that there are a lot of kids that don't have grandmothers, and a lot of young mothers that don't have a mother or MIL to go to for advice.  From my own experience my advice is not to bring up the MIL argument with your husband.  He probably feels the same way you do about his mom and in time if you don't bring it up and just ignore it he won't have any choice other than to recognize the problem and address the disfunction between him and his mother.  In time you will find friends and want to go somewhere occassionally and enjoy yourself, DON'T RUN YOUR BABYSITTER OFF!  Try this...next time she comes over unexpectedly, be nice and polite and use the time to go run some errands or have lunch or a movie by yourself.  Take advantage of her wanting to spend time with your daughter.  Its called reverse psychology, maybe she won't be so apt to run to your house if she knows that it does not bother you and she always has to babysit (LOL).

Sister, I have tons of advice for you re: husbands, children, and MILs.

Kris I know what you mean. My husband's mother was ok at first when we were dating. I still didn't like her but after we got married which was three weeks after our daughter was born she started calling all the time wanting to come out and she my daughter and husband but not really me. She doesn't accept me for me and I'm not changing for her. Sometimes she would call multiple times a day. It was so annoying. She accuses me of lying alot and thinks I'm a bitch and has told my husband that. My husband also thinks alot of the problems are me and not his mother. Though just a week ago he told his mother that she was 90% the problem. She does all this and wonders why I don't like her and don't want to see her. LOL I can say that I think you are right about her and her husband(which is not my husband's dad) aren't getting along that well alot of times.

Kris I know what you mean. My husband's mother was ok at first when we were dating. I still didn't like her but after we got married which was three weeks after our daughter was born she started calling all the time wanting to come out and she my daughter and husband but not really me. She doesn't accept me for me and I'm not changing for her. Sometimes she would call multiple times a day. It was so annoying. She accuses me of lying alot and thinks I'm a bitch and has told my husband that. My husband also thinks alot of the problems are me and not his mother. Though just a week ago he told his mother that she was 90% the problem. She does all this and wonders why I don't like her and don't want to see her. LOL I can say that I think you are right about her and her husband(which is not my husband's dad) aren't getting along that well alot of times.

Brandy I have both my mother and my husbands mother within 75 miles of me. My mom lives just 15 mins from us and his lives a little over an hour. Plus I have his father that lives about 20 mins from us. It is so difficult having three of the four sets of grandparents this close. I don't mention his mother or the argiments. We in fact avoid talking about it. Until the next time she calls and starts another argument. It stresses me out so much wondering when the next time she will call and cause a fight. My stomach knots up every time she calls regardless if it ends up in a fight.

Samantha, you can't control the type of relationship your husband has with his "mommy" but you can control how much you let it affect you.  When she calls, step back or when she comes over disappear.  When your husband is confronted one on one with facing his "mommy's" ways by hisself he will be running to you for support or he will have no choice but to be a man and set his mother straight about the way things will be.