My cousin's daughter is so selfish she doesn't know how to share. Everytime another kid tries to play with her toys she throws a fit and starts screaming. Even when she isn't playing with it at the moment and is in a totally different room, if she comes back and someone else has her toys she freaks out! And it doesn't help that my cousin kind of encourages this behavior by just taking the toys from the other kids and gives it to her!! I think she should be correcting her and teaching her how to share but she says that she will learn in preschool. What do you guys think? Is it important to share? To me it is.

yea she should be teaching her how to share now, my nephew is alot better now with sharing(he's 2 1/2) but he still either takes toys away from my son or gets mad if my son has one of his toys but my SIL corrects him and sometimes I do too if shes not around

Hmm this is a hard one because although you are supposed to teach your kids to share, they should "want" to and not be "forced" to, right? You'd want them to grow up to be the kind of person who feels good when sharing and helping others, not feel forced to. Also, isnt this part of the whole Terrible Two's stage? I read the toddler rules somewhere that stated a list of rules that all had "it's mine" at the end of it. ha ha.. I personally wouldnt just brush it off and let my kid be a terror, but I dont know how much you can do at that age w/ out looking forward to the stage where they out grow it.

Your cousin is doing her daughter a huge dis-service by allowing her to not share and play nice with others. She is going to be miserable in preschool where she will have to share and be unhappy about it.

I also think it's wrong to think that the teacher of the school is responsible for teaching her child the play nice with others. That is a lesson that goes along with being polite and kind to others that is the responsibility of the parents to teach at home.

Just my opinion. My daughter is only an infant still, but I know with my god daughter who is now 10, if she did not share a toy we (her mother and I) would take it away from her. We did not reward bad behavior, and not sharing and playing nicely with other is bad behavior

I completly agree with Becki.  My son is almost 2.5 now.  I started teaching him to share from the time he was about 15 months.  If he took a toy away from another baby, I would give it back(regardless of it was his or the other kids) and say "we share toys, we don't take".  It is the responsibility of the parents to teach their kids to share, to be polite, to be kind, ect.  That is not something that should be left to the teacher at pre-school.  The child will end up giving the teacher lots of problems and be in time out a lot if she continues that behavior at the school.

A lot of people say that at the age of a toddler, they can not understand to share, but that is so untrue.  Although it is inherent in them to be selfish and to want whatever it is they want, they can and should be taught to share.  I think the "terrible twos" is a way for people to explain away behavior in their child that they do not want to deal with.  At 2 years, they are at a stage where they become more independent and want to do things themselves, but being mean, selfish, and such is not a part of being two.  That is a problem with the parenting.  At least it is if the parents are not making attempts to correct the behavior.  That is how you end up with those kids like they have on Maury and such, where they hit their parents, tell their parents what to do, curse them out, and all.  A parent must be the primary person responsible for teaching their child how to be a decent person.

I'm not really sure how to suggest you address this with your cousin.  In the end we all have to raise our own children.  Most people do not want to be told how to raise their kids.  I would suggest though, that if you are around the kids, and the daughter comes in and starts fussing because someone else has her toy, before your cousin can say anything, address it yourself.  Say something like "Honey, I know that's your toy.  (insert name here) started playing with it when you decided you didn't want to anymore.  When (insert name) is done, you can have it back.  I know you want it now, but we share our toys with our friends so that we can all have a good time."  That of course is an example, but it is kind of how I do it with my son.  I hope this helps.

Any expert would tell you that this is a normal stage in a toddler development. Toddlers don't understand the concept of sharing until they are almost 3 yrs old.  Now they always advice that parents start saying "we share toys in this house" "See, mommy share this with daddy", etc.  If you have playdates and there are other kids coming to your house, you ask your kid (if he understands) which toys he/she is willing to share.  You can also tell him friends are coming over they will want to play, what about we share this toys that you don't play with anymore.  Kids at this age try sometime to imitate, therefore repeating at home the good manners ("please, excuse me, i am sorry, lets share, etc)  It is true the teachers don't need to teach aboslute everything to the kid, teaching starts at home, but they are there to reinforce behaviour, good manners, that is what they teach at pre-school.  I agree with Casey on her last paragrafh but I am not sure not sharing at this age means to be "mean"  there is not such a feeling like that on a 2 yr old.  On a 4 or 5 yr old maybe since they can understand and communicate much better than a 2 yr old.  I suggest you and all mothers to read articles about "your toddler sharing" and they will tell you how to encourage your child to go through this stage and how to avoid tantrums and conflict with others.

The child isn't selfish, she's a toddler...this is normal behavior, and I agree with Veronica's post 100%.  My Mother is a preschool director and has told me several times that sharing is learned, not innate, so of course little ones don't want to share.  All you can do is encourage your own child to share - lead by example around the house. It will get better aournd 3 years old.

I guess that I'm just lucky because my son at 15months loves to share his toys

Thanks guys for all the replies! Wow I guess this was a hot topic!