Hi Moms...you ladies must be sick of me by now, lol. I think I must post questions every other day but I have nowhere else to turn and I get really good advice from everyone. This may turn into a lengthy post and I appologize for that ahead of time.

Anyway...Sienna who is now starting her 11th month has started to wake up screaming. Not only in the middle of the night but from naps as well. I cannot for the life of me figure it out. She wakes up and it seriously takes me about 20-30 minutes to calm her. I have tried to go in her room and just rub her back and tell her to go back to sleep. I make sure she has her pacifiers (I leave 2 with her so she can find them), I make sure she has a clean diaper...none of this works! She is so upset that I have to pick her up and try to comfort her and it takes what seems forever to do that.

She already has her two bottom teeth which she cut about a month ago. I try to check her top gums, but she makes it difficult to look. When she does allow me to she bites me to the point that she leaves teeth marks in my finger. I don't really feel or see anything comming through the top. I hear that babies usually get thier one year molars and that is hell for the household, but she doesn't even have her top teeth yet. I have noticed that she is rubbing her cheeks a lot more lately. I give her motrin sometimes, but she is still waking up.

I also thought that maybe she was having nightmares. I have heard of night terrors and have read that kids don't normally get those until after a year old or so and they sit up screaming but are still asleep. It doesn't seem like that's what's happening. Sienna wouldn't be able to sit herslef up alone anyway because she cannot do that yet for whatever reason.

Not only am I dealing with this issue, but things at home are rough and that alone makes it hard to keep my patience. I need to collect myself at 3AM when waking up from a deep sleep as to not make Sienna feel my tension form everything else. This is a whole other issue though.

I just wanted to know if anyone might know something about any of this. It's tough being a Mother for the first time and having to second guess what's wrong with your baby. I'm feeling pretty helpless.

Thanks for listening

Sandy

I feel for you!  I've been there with our son, now 2 and still waking 3-5 times a night.

It really could be many different things.  She's probably not dreaming yet, according to the "experts", but she may be starting to get little glimpses but most likely not scary stuff.

You said she rubs her cheeks... is she rubbing the soft parts or is she rubbing close to her ears?  It could be a sign of ear infection if it's near her ears.

Teeth don't always come in in the order they say.  It could be her molars.  Will she chew on a frozen wash cloth?  Wet a wash cloth and freeze it then give it to her when she's cranky.  It may just be enough of something different to help soothe her even if it isn't her teeth bothering her.

She could be having tummy pains or gas pains.  Has she tried any new foods recently?  Can you track back and see when it started and what foods she was eating or starting to eat at that time?  It could be an allergy or just a sensitive tummy.  Have you offered her water when she does this?  She may also be going through a growth spurt and truly be hungry.

Good luck!  It is very hard trying to pinpoint what's going on with them when they don't communicate very well with you.  I hope you find something that helps, and soon!  I completely understand about those awful nights when you are at your wits end.  Like you said, just try to stay calm and maybe even play some relaxing music while she's crying and sway with her.  Focus on the music to help relax yourself so she doesn't feel the tension from you.  We used a combination of these ideas on different nights until the problem went from screaming to just fussing when he woke up.

Ya know...usually I have to pick her up because she gets so upset and it will take a good 20-30 minutes to settle her. I can't let her cry it out...I feel aweful doing it. But I have picked her up the past couple times and within 5 minutes she is quiet. She seems awake and alert so I put her back in her crib and tell her that Mommy is going back to bed and she stays quiet and falls back to sleep. This is making me wonder if it's a separation thing or if she is playing me because she now knows that I will go in there. I know she is only 11 months but I think to some extent babies that young know what they are doing when it comes to things like that. If it keeps up I may call her Pedi. She seems to be rubbing the softer part of her cheeks and they seem to look somewhat rosey throughout the day. As far as food...nothing different and I give her Little Tummies Gas Relief before bed just in case it is her belly.

I bet it is separation anxiety.  I would go in as quickly as you can, settle her and do just as you're doing.  If it happens again in the night, wait 1-2 minutes then go in and do it again each time waiting a bit longer and making less verbal cues to her.  That's what our Pedi said to do because I couldn't make our son CIO either.  It was torture on me!  You are right, they do figure out how to get our attention at a very young age and like to try out the cause/effect relationship.  They are sooo smart!

I hope you get some sleep soon!

My daughter is only 2 months, so I can not really offer any advise on your problem, however I wanted to say that I am with you and understand your frustrations with not being able to pin point the problem.

I also do not believe that babies do not dream. My daughter will laugh, smile and sometimes frown in her sleep. If she's not dreaming then I would have no clue why she would do those things in her sleep.

Your daughter may just need reassurance that she is not alone and that mommy will come if needed. (that's what my mom said)

I know it's hard sometimes, but asking for help, helps. Maybe have your mom/sister/friend stay at your house and take a night for you if you need a little break. I've learnt in my Mother-to-mother support group that it is ok to need a break and ask for help. When you are less frustrated and unhappy the better you can deal with all the situations that our little angels send our way.

My guess would be teething or nightmares maybe?

And 11 months is not too young for separation anxiety.  My older daughter developed this at around 3 months of age-way sooner than the textbooks and experts said. 

One last thought, babies understand a lot more than they can say.  Maybe she is picking up on whatever other issues you mentioned are going on at home that are causing you stress. 

Does your daughter wake up screaming around same time each night?  My then 7 month old son was waking up around 11pm every night screaming as if he was pinched, scaring the hell out of me each night.  Only way to calm him was to pick him up and he would almost instantly fall back asleep.  My pedi said it was night terror and he's stuck in same sleep cycle.  She suggested gently waking him (by turning on his other side or gently shaking him to see that his eyes are open for a second) at 1055pm just to break his REM cycle.  I tried that for 5 nights and he broke out of that habit.  Hope this helps...