 |
|
|
|
| Stay at Home Moms |
| Public online group |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Hi Ladies! I would love some help today. I have been feeling really overwhelmed lately trying to get everything done. There never seems to be enough time to get past the basics. If any of you are like me, I feel like I want to do and have it all, a clean home, healthy home-cooked meals for my family, bills organized, closets organized, fun family outings, time to exercise, time to build new friendships...and on and on. I'm a self-described obsessive/ perfectionist, but if you saw my house today you'd think otherwise! HaHa! When it was just my son I did pretty well. Now that I have two children (one breastfeeding) and we have moved to a another home out of state, I just can't seem to get ahead. I still have boxes to unpack and rooms to decorate, not to mention I don't know to many other people. I don't mind sacrificing cleaning for fun with my family or outing with friends,but right now I HAVE to make some headway or else I'll never be able to have friends over or find my stuff! Help ladies, please share with me how you "schedule" it all in. Maybe I can adopt some of your great ideas. I am absolutely terrible at negleting my own needs, I'm sure that's why it gets depressing sometimes. |
| Posted by Amber on 06/28/2007 04:30 PM
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| Well let me tell you we are all in the same boat!!! I can never get organized trust me. Once the kitchen is clean, it is dirty a half hour later!!! If there was only more time in the day, but wait we would just make more of a mess!!! LOL |
| posted by Jeanette on 06/28/2007 04:41 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Amber,
the rule is ¨something needs to go¨ and be able to deal with it, overlooked it and not care!
My rule to keep samity is to get out of the house at least one hour a day, even when my kids were very young and outside was very cold. Even a little walk at the park or meeting a friend was good to take.
I always have home cooked meal because I hate junk or food delivery but it does not have to take forever to prepare either.
For the house I compromise for an ¨organized mess¨. When we have playdate the house looks like a battlefield but the kids had fun and I relaxed with the moms. So I guess my priority is not to feel overwhemed and it is important for the children to have me in a good mood.
Schedule not to scedule and live the day!
Vero
|
| posted by Vero on 06/28/2007 04:44 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hello Amber,
I love what Vero said, unfortuantley I am just like you. But I have learned that some things just have to go or wait for another day. I work from home, have 2 kids, raise my 16 year old brother, have a garden that I love, the house needs to be cleaned, food prepared and I am a military wife. What I have found that works for me is each night before I go to bed, I make a list of what things need to be done the next day. Don't go crazy, be resonable, because you know there are so many hours in the day. I only do what is on the list, everything else can wait. It will eventually get done and you will be less stressed and still have time for the kids and family outings. |
| posted by Brandie on 06/28/2007 04:51 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Hi Amber... My home is a mess for 3/4 of the day & I only have one 4 month old! I do a clean up around 4-5pm before dinner. For what it's worth, I make lots of list & categorize chores, so important/basics would be labelled that & I'd schedule a realistic time-frame around feeding/naps as they don;t always go as planned. You could aim to work on 1 small box a day after you've got your main chores out of the way. If your son is old enough, could he help you & you reward him with a play date/fun day out? I recently painted an apt. to rent out in 2 weeks around my daughter's naps/feeding (she was 2 months old then) & I only managed this through a quick prioritization list - it worked for me anyway :-) One way of saving time is using Freshdirect (or a similar online door-to-door supplier of groceries) as they supply fresh food/groceries online & deliver to your door & offer coupons for free food if you order enough (I use them in NY). I order most of our weekly food online & baby supplies though 1-800-diapers to save time & money. You sound like a lovely, warm person & so I'm sure you'll meet new friends in no time :-) |
| posted by S-J on 06/28/2007 06:01 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Amber,
I feel your pain! I've moved a total of eight times since my son has been born (hopefully this is the last)! Unpack the stuff that you really need, and little by little, unpack one box at a time when you have a minute. When the kids are napping, after they're sleeping, or even if you could get a friend or relative to take them for a few hours while you get some things done(since you're breastfeeding, you could pump ahead of time so the baby can eat while someone watches them). Good luck to you! And don't worry, the boxes will be there tomorrow. It took me months sometimes to get all the boxes unpacked, and if you're tired of looking at them, go for a walk or have dinner at a friend's! It will take your mind off of it for a while. |
| posted by Rebecca on 06/28/2007 06:56 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Thank you for all the suggestions and kind words. I know there will always be a never ending to do list, hopefully I can find the balance I am looking for. I'd hate to look back at my children's childhood and only remember cleaning and doing chores. It's all those fun days and friendships I'd like to have more of. I've decided to take some advice from Flylady.com and work in zones for 20 minutes a day. Usually I can keep my son and daughter focused on something for at least that long, even if it is in shifts! Working on one room at a time should help me focus and not feel so overwhelmed. As for the fun stuff, I started a schedule and a list of the fun stuff I'd like to do weekly like attending ladies Bible study, visitng the park and going to the library for story time. Even the thought of taking the two liitle ones seems exhasting, but if I don't force myself to get out and do it anyway I'll never make frineds and keep getting more depressed! Now if I can only figure out how to have us all fed, showered, ironed and out of the door on time to get to these things I'll be set! LOL |
| posted by Amber on 06/29/2007 03:20 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hey Amber! Here's what I usually do - some of it may help you.
First, realize you are only one person and your children need you healthy and whole more than they need the dishes done and the clothes put away (repeat this to yourself if necessary)
Second, I only put away toys (my son is 9mo.) before his naps and at bedtime. All other time is free-for-all toy time
Third, multi-tasking is key. For example, my husband gets our son ready for bed, reads a story and plays quietly with him on the nights he doesn't work. So, during this time, I'll fill the sink or dishwasher to do the remaining dishes (only do this 2x a day and let some nights slip - relax! It's okay) - while Micah is getting his bath/bedtime with daddy, I'll vacuum the carpet. This way everything is picked up before 8pm.
Fourth, I've learned to ask my husband specifically when and how to help me. And to communicate how it makes me feel when I'm overwhelmed with all the stuff that needs to be done
Fifth, I have specific days for specific tasks. Wednesday is grocery. Thursday is laundry (this is a harder to keep now that we are temporarily in a townhome without hookup, but it worked great when my washer/dryer were with me in the house), Friday is banking and home office stuff
Anyway, maybe none of this could be applied. The one thing I'm still struggling with is the excercise...working on that one.
No one expects us to be perfect. If they do, they need to look in the mirror and then help you clean it. :0) Choose what MUST be done and let the rest lie.
Oh, and I NEVER make the bed on Sunday. It feels restful and a little rebellious:0)
|
| posted by Kelly on 06/30/2007 03:25 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Amber,
I agree with everyone about letting things slide. One day last week I decided not to do any work and just relax and play with the kids (I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 3 mo old). At the end of the day the house looked exactly the same as if I had worked all do on it. This was an eye-opener. I don't like my house to be messy, unorganized or dirty. I'm that awful A-type. I do have a schedule for getting things done. I spend an hour a day cleaning the kitchen and general straightening. After that it's play time. One day is errand day (grocery shopping, post office, bank, etc...). One day is laundry day ( 1 do about 6-8 loads that day and put it out of my mind the rest of the week). I do one big thing each week with the kids (zoo, going to grandparents, Sea World, lunch with dad, etc...) We usually get out of the house 6 days a week, but we stay home one day to just play with toys and relax.
This is the plan, but I try not to stress when it doesn't happen.
Good luck |
| posted by Renee on 07/07/2007 03:02 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| I must admit some weeks I don't get out of the house until the weekends! I feel like if I go out without a specific task I'll just mindlessly spend money on junk I don't need. Plus with two so young it's such a juggling act planning around naps and everything. When one is sleeping the other is awake and vice versa. There is not a lot to do with the little ones where I live. I just found out about a MOPS group starting up soon in a nearby town, so hopefully I can meet some ladies there and start arranging play dates. I miss having girlfriends around. |
| posted by Amber on 07/07/2007 09:34 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Amber!
Guess what I'm going to say will sound crazy to You and some other moms but the simply truth is that those first years of Your kids lifes will never come back and soon enough they'll be heading out of home to start their new lifes and You'll stay with plenty of time for all that unneccessary work and empty house. So, I decided to just get as much as possible from this time and spend as much time as I can with my baby.Somehow we manage (with my hubby's help) to luve in agreeable cleaness and have laundry and shopping done and even some cooking, lol. But my main concern at the moment is my son so no matter if I did the dishes in the morning (sometimes I do, sometimes it's impossible) I just get ready and leave the house with Matthew about 9am (guess 10.30 is the latest) and come back around 5-6pm. We go to different classes, playgyms, meetings and playdates and whatever we have planned. He sleeps between of course and I would probably could use some time of napping myself but I just have another coffee, lol. I think my imperative right now is to give him as much developmental possibilities and impulses as I can and be with him all that time when he explores the world. I could stay home, put him into his playard or walker and turn on another movie while doing my chores but what's the point??? Is that really so important? To have clean house and dishes???? Perhaps as a mother You should really think over Your priorities and don't be too hard on Yourself. As long as You do as much as possible for Your kids' develoment and future, You should be proud and don't care about anything that can wait a little while to be done. |
| posted by Sylwia on 07/07/2007 09:43 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Thank you for the web site on flylady!!
I just book marked it, for later reading, I gotta say I am excited
so far about getting organized. My husband will be thrilled.
The site seems to cover a broad spectrum.
Thanks again for sharing the info. |
| posted by on 07/08/2007 01:00 AM
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
| |  |
| |
|
|
|
