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| Welcome and you are not alone, I stay at home with my son and sometimes cannot wait for my husband to come home so I can pass him off and do my own thing. Children are amazing and a gift, but so is alone time for a parent. Just hang in there and ask for help when you need it. |
| posted by Angela on 06/27/2007 11:01 PM
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Hi Christina,
I am so with you. I was so angry and upset all the time and I had no idea why. I have postpartum depression as well. It is very hard. But it does get better with help. I had no idea what it was. I feel a whole lot better with medicine, but I keeping saying i should not need medicine to make me happy, but I guess with all the hormones I do. I hope things better!
~Jennie~ |
| posted by Jeanette on 06/27/2007 11:08 PM
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| I am sorry for all the stress. Income marriage etc. My daughter is 18 months also she was born jan 11. I stay home with her and i understand the stress of being with them 24/7. I would not trade it for nothing but it is stressful. know you are not alone and i think you will really like this site. i am new to ait and i already have found it to be a big help.if you need anything please ask |
| posted by Natasha on 06/27/2007 11:09 PM
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Welcome Christina
Thanks for sharing ! Dont feel alone I cant relate exactly but I do know that being a sahm is very difficult and stressful.
Never feel alone and u can always talk to us here
Laura |
| posted by laura on 06/27/2007 11:21 PM
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THANK YOU!! my therapist has suggested to see a phycoligist (sp?) for meds. I guess i feel the same why that i dont want to be on meds but if it will help i should. I got as far as looking up some drs. on my insurance but have not made the call yet. I think that will be my goal tomorrow =)
im in the middle of reading "down came the rain" by brooke shields (therapist recommended) Can only relate a little bit but ill see how it ends.
I am determined to get through this.
as far as getting alone time. i do get it when gia is in day care but on the days that i have her all day.. my husband just doesnt care and does his own thing. just something to work on another time..as soon as i get myself straight first.. then i will work on the marriage part.
thanks guys.. im very happy to see you guys are there for every one. all the post are helpful like th epotty training =) the tips are good and something to keep in mind when it time for gia to do it. and the binki.. she is really attached to it.. you guys have some good ideas.
im really glad i found this group!!!!
Thanks again! |
| posted by Christina on 06/27/2007 11:22 PM
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| i also had a c-section and 1month later a c-section revision so i understand felling jealous of you husband's amount of activity in those first weeks. I was having breastfeeding issues at first and kind of dreaded her crying and being too near.i'm sorry about your marital issues we have money issues too since I stay home(and i know my husband is resentful of me sometimes) i therapy working?But Staying at home IS very stressful and draining.But at least you're trying. Postpartum depression doesn't mean you don't love your daughter and want to to grow and do well; It's more being overwhelmed about a situation you can't control or change and you may feel like you can't cope but just continue to see your therapist and get out for walk with your daughter, get some air and try your best to think positively. |
| posted by Johnee on 06/27/2007 11:31 PM
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Christina,
What does your husband do for work?? You need to tell him and make him understand that what you do all day is not easy and you need a break when he gets home. After repeating myself to my husband I think he gets it. You both said I DO and it is 50/50, just because he goes to work does not mean you are not working. I have the same feeling that you have about being on medicine, but it works and it helps alot! Well I have to run and get ready to start the day!! have a great day! |
| posted by Jeanette on 06/28/2007 07:56 AM
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| I hope everyone is helping you. I am a sahm and like everyone else feel overhelmed and that I am losing my mind at times. My son is 2 1/2 and I was diagnosed with postpardum til my son was 18 mnths also. I am off my meds and I am tring to get prego with #2. Somedays I fell like I just want to hide in a corner and other days are fine. I have noticed that my diet can affect my mood. If I have a lot of sugar I am irritable and not happy ( which is hard because sweet can be copping mecinisum. But long term is douesn't help. And days were I eat healthy I have energy and are a little more happier. I helps me a lot to have a fruit smoothy in the morning with protein powder. The protein powder really helps. Good Luck and don't worry about taking meds. You would be suprised how many women do it and don't tell anyone. |
| posted by Karolyn on 06/28/2007 08:30 AM
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Hi Christina:
We really shoudl tlak ebcaus eI am so reserved and tend to keep things to myself, and convince myself that I am a super hero and solve all my problems by myself. I finally realised that you can only handle so much..
We need tot alk so that I can re assure you that you are nto alone..ever never, ever feel that way. Wait unitl you hear my story.. |
| posted by Selome on 06/28/2007 09:51 AM
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| i would have to agree that the medication will help when i had my son i had a c section, unfortunately my husband didnt help out, i was in the hospital for 3 days then when i got home i had to start doing everything as if nothing happened, cooking cleaning ect. i was also haveing breats feeding probs and for some reason i couldnt eat and it wasnt the stress it was about a month later befor i could eat and i had to start with ovalteen shakes a 1/4 cup at a time just so i was getting the vitamines. i got on meds and everything was lots better so i would definately give it a try |
| posted by jennifer on 06/28/2007 10:17 AM
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| i can relate to a degree. i had my daughter vaginally but i did and still do have postpartum. it is not really against my daughter though, all of my anger and irritability goes on my husband. my marriage has went to the dogs since i had my daughter. my daughter sees very very little of it. mostly because i try so hard to not to that to her. so i let my husband have it. he is not supportive of my battling depression at all. he constantly says nothing is wrong, i am not ashamed of having to take meds at all, if it helps then i will do it. but my hubby criticizes me for doing it, but anyways sister, welcome to the group and i hope we can walk with you through this battle |
| posted by Jennifer on 06/28/2007 11:26 AM
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I just started seeing the therapist. only had 2 sessions so far. so im in the beginning of this.
To the mothers that are on medication did it affect you in any way? like feeling out of it? i think thats what i fear the most is that if something happens to gia (hurt herself)i will be so out of it that i wouldnt be able to help her. i have a friend that has depression (no kids) when she started on meds i couldnt believe how wierd she was. Thats what my fear is. Im in search of a new job and im also afraid that i wont be able to perform well if and when i find job!
As far as my husband.. we really dont talk anymore. and like jennifer said im taking my anger out on my husband. Since i have been laid off i have slacked on my duties at home like cleaning and cooking. Just not in the mood to do it. We each had certain jobs to do around the house during the week and since i have been in this funk he has slacked off also. I think we are at a stage where we get back at each other. I have found that he doesnt play as much with gia as he used to. He really hasnt been that supportive. Yesterday i asked him if he could change his work out sched. He goes running every other day.. and sometimes it lands on the days i have Gia All day. So i asked him if he could go running on the days that Gia is in daycare so that i dont feel so overwhelmed. he gave me a hard time at first but then said "FINE!"
today Gia is in daycare. so i have the house to myself. i just finished reading the book. so im going to write my thoughts in my journal
thanks again everyone... greatly appreciated.. i am feeling a tiny bit better knowing im not alone =)
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| posted by Christina on 06/28/2007 01:23 PM
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With medication it is hard, I started medication after I had my son, not for postpartum, but for OCD. The first medication I was on, just made me loopy. I couldn't concentrate and felt like I was floating above myself watching everything happen. But after discussing it with my doctor I was switched to another med. and it helps me so much. It may take time to find the right dose and perscription, but when you do it is amazing how much the medication can help you feel "normal" again.
Good Luck |
| posted by Angela on 06/28/2007 02:10 PM
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Hi Christina,
I understand where you are coming from. I have a 23 month little girl(Avery). I just had my second child a boy 3 weeks ago(Carter). With Avery I was 2 weeks overdue and I had to be induce and I went into really hard back labor. I was in hard labor for 14 hrs. and then I had a c-section. After that I was on so many drugs, I couldn't really hold her for awhile. I also couldn't breast feed her, because she wouldn't get enough. So I felt like I didn't have a connection with her at first. It was really hard at first, because 2 weeks later my husband had to leave for a business trip for a week. I just wanted to get back to my life, and not be a mom. I knew it was wrong to let her cry when I would lay in bed. What helped me is my friends, I told my friend how I was feeling and she stayed at my house and really helped me get back to myself. It was about 2 months before I just looked at my daughter one day and she was holding my hand and she had this look on her face. I just wanted to be her mom and take care of her. It just clicked for me. With Carter it has been different, for one thing it was planned. So I knew what I was doing, and I told them I didn't want to be on so many drugs. I got to hold him right away and bond. I also had people here to help me when I got home. I hope my story helped out a little to know that you are not alone. I know also Brooke Shields has a book out about postpartum, you might want to read that. I also know with my relationship with my husband was rocky for a while also. The last thing I wanted to do was get pregnant again. So I wouldn't let him touch me. What helped with that was we got a babysitter for 2 nights a month and we go out on dates again. We dress up and we don't talk about the kids the whole time we are out. Our relationship is better than ever now. I hope it helps.
Lisa |
| posted by Lisa on 06/28/2007 03:11 PM
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| Hi Christina. I know how overwhelming being at home can be. My husband and his family run a restaurant so he is hardly home. He leaves in the morning before the baby wakes up and gets home at night after she's already sleeping. So I have no breaks at all. I am not from the state i live in so that plus not working, I have not met any friends, and my family is in PA. My husbands family is at work with him, so I am completely alone. I just joined these groups today, and I already feel better. So stick it out and keep talking, it helps. I hope things work out for you Lisa |
| posted by Lisa on 07/12/2007 10:57 PM
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