It took some inner studying and attention to my own needs, but I found that I had to bring balance back to my life and get my life force flowing again. I had been sort of settling in to just being a mom. For me, luckily that did not mean weight gain! But it did mean weight loss, hair loss, muscle loss, brain loss, spirit loss…I think you get the point. I was nothing more than a walking zombie mom, wife, and household manager. And although I was doing a good job at keeping the house clean and efficient and keeping my children and husband happy and feeling secure, I was a mess inside. Inwardly, I was ruled by guilt and depression, and occasionally would have emotional breakdowns which my husband and children had to pay for. My housework was ruling me, I stressed about the dishes, the laundry, tonight’s dinner, etc. I was secretly searching for ways out. I knew that I had to do something before I went crazy, and the only sensible option I could think of would be to get a JOB. Yet I also knew that getting a JOB would only mean more work, more obligations, more stress, and less time to really do the inner work that I so desperately needed.
What was your life-changing decision? |
