Hey guys, I dont usually post much about myself, but Im so torn right now. I'll try to explain this in as few words as possible.

My childrens father and I split up almost a year ago..I love him dearly and I really want our family to be together and be happy. We have been working on things (many many issues) but we are not quite where I want us to be in order to move back in together. BUT I have lost complete control of my household. My children are 5,4, and 2 yr twins and they have really been crazy children lately. They are constantly fighting and arguing and screaming and just doing EVERYTHING they know they shouldnt be doing. They talk back and tell me NO and they run from me if I try to put them in time out. My 4 yr old daughter is the worst when it comes to listening and she thinks everything is funny. I have even resorted to spanking her and she cries for the second it takes, and then she is laughing and playing and misbehaving again. Nothing is working!! Also, part of the problem is that we just moved waay out to the country (an hr away from where we were living in the city) and they had to switch daycares. They are now going to preschool in the city I work in, which isnt the greatest. My 5 yr old will be starting Kindergarten this September, and I would NOT let him go to the school near my job, so he would be going to the school district near our house in the country..but I really dont like living so far away and I dont plan on staying here for long, so I would hate to have him start Kindergarten in the country and then move and have him go to a different school in first grade! thats a big change for a kid!

So, heres the kicker. MY DAD is the one who Bought the property in the country SOLELY b/c he wanted to help me! He has never done anything else for me since Ive been an adult and had children, but for some reason he just last year decided he wanted to help get my kids into a better environment. ? So, at the time I was living w/ my mother who is crazy and her and I didnt get along and she would call me names and cuss and argue and just do crazy stuff, all in front of my kids. She also called them names if they did something wrong, etc. So, I felt like moving to the country was my best option at the time. I knew I couldnt stay w/ her anymore. So, my father and his wife found this property and it had a house and a trailer on the property, so he thought it would be good for me to live there. (and him and his wife live in the house) They had some trouble closing on the property, and they were going to say forget it (they didnt NEED it, they already had a house) but they went through w/ it for me and the kids.  So, IF I move out, which I REALLY want to, and Ive only been there since Jan 1, my dad will probably disown me, and be EXTREMELY upset w/ me, especially if he finds out (which he will) that Im going back to my childrens father... he absolutely HATES him.

I would also feel extremely guilty if I did this and wouldnt even feel I could face my father, and I know him and his wife would lose respect for me for doing this.. Im just so torn. My family (dad) or my family(kids and their father) ???

What is a girl to do?

think about herself.... You arent a kid anymore.. You want certain things in your life and the only one you are truly responsible for to answer to are those kids...  If words go between you adn your dad then you need to tell him this is the best thing for you and your kids.... I do not knwo the extent of why your dad hates your hubby or even why you have split from hubby.. was he abusive? if so do you really want to be in the situation again?  only you can answer that question...

I think it would be selfish for you to move out of the home your father bought for you.  He thought he was helping you get away from a bad situation, and in the process, he gave up his home and moved also.  You are not choosing between your dad and your kids.  You are choosing between the hard way and the easy way.  Sticking this out may be more difficult, but it sounds like its whats best.  Put your son in the school in the country.  Tighten the leash on the kids.  They need to know that you are in charge whether or not Dad is there.  And if you think bringing him back will fix everything, you're wrong.  If its not time, then its not time.  Maybe he could take them a few nights a week to his place so that they get to have time with him too..  This is a good chance for you to stand on your own feet and show those kids what you are made of!  Country life is good for kids.  When they are acting up, put em to work!  Send little Johnny out with a bucket and tell him he has to pick up all the rocks off the sidewalk and fill his bucket.  Or send him into the yard to collect pinecones.  Dont come in til the bucket is full.  The country is a great place to come up with creative ways to teach your kids a few lessons!