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| I have been trying to deal with the fact the money at the moment is tight. but I am starting to go crazy because I am always home, I feel like the walls are closing in on me and I have no clue what to do to stop feeling like this, I feel like a bad mom because I just want to get away for a little bit, just a break, I want to be known as nadya not just as mom and wife, it just feels like I have completely lost touch with who I really am and I just want to get back to a happy state of mind. any advice would be great! thanks! |
| Posted by nadya on 01/30/2009 02:56 PM
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| You could probably hang out with one of your friends with or without the kids. If spending time with your kids, then plan a play date. You could have the play date at your house than the next time at her house. I do this and it works out incredibly for me. My oldest son loves this because he likes to be able to play with other kids besides his brother. If spending time without the kids, have your husband watch the kids while you have a girl's night out occasionally. Or, you could also take your son to story hours at libraries or any other places that have get-togethers for kids...and there your son will interact with other children and you might be able to find new moms to become friends with. |
| posted by Monica on 01/30/2009 03:28 PM
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Hi Nadya,
It's so hard to deal with the normal Mommy issues we all experience, and then have to think about finances as well on top of it all....UGH!!!! - you are not alone, and you are not a bad Mom. Talk to your husband about how you're feeling and explain that you need a little ME time - if this is only a long drive alone or a visit with a friend with no kids around, then so be it...that's free, right? I'll tell you, sometimes a long hot shower feels like a vacation.
In the meantime, hug your little one tight all bundled up and GO OUTSIDE! If it's cold where you are, make the stay outside brief - take some deep breaths and try to relax. I bought a 20 minute beginners yoga DVD for less than 10 dollars, and I pop it in from time to time when my son naps...I feel good afterwards. Try some tension tamer tea too - sit and watch a favorite show with it while your little one is asleep.
We love going to different libraries as well - story times and the like are a great way to get out of the house and they are free as well.
It will be ok.
good luck honey. |
| posted by on 01/30/2009 03:32 PM
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| I am going crazy too! I am 25 weeks pregnant and I have a 21 month old son. The weather is cold and I hate winter. Tanning is not allowed so there is nothing to make me feel better. Nothing tastes good or excites me. |
| posted by on 01/30/2009 03:53 PM
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I understand how you feel. I don't get out very often. I work from home as a daycare provider and I take kids 24/7. In fact, there is hardly a time when I don't have someone else's kid with me. If you think not getting a break from your kids is tough, try getting 7 parents to all agree to find someone else to watch their kids and finding a babysitter for your own kids! I haven't had a day off since the day after Christmas! BUT I try to go to the gym a few times a week. I can put all the kids in daycare for 2 hours. I can swim or walk or ride a bike. I've even sat on the couch in the locker room and read a book! Its a nice break and the kids are right there.
If you cant afford the gym, you could consider church (if you're a religious person). There is usually a daycare to keep the kids entertained and its a great way to meet like minded people. They often have couples groups, moms groups, some churches even have MOPS. Thats Mothers Of Preschoolers. You can take your kids and have a little adult time. Also inexpensive are the play places at McDonald's, Burger King, Chick-fil-a... Grab a coffee and a friend and let the kids play! I suggest going earlier in the morning though! Let em play and by the time you get home they are worn out and ready for lunch and nap!
OH! I just thought of another! LoL! Have you considered doing a babysitting swap with a few friends? They watch your kids one night for an outing (with the hubby maybe!) and the next time you watch their kids so they can go out. No babysitting charge!
Good Luck! |
| posted by Kelly on 01/30/2009 06:43 PM
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| I hear ya Nadya!! I have been home since my 7 month old was born & just recently had a breakdown with my husband about how crazy I've been feeling at home with the kids! We decided I would try to do more for myself, whether it's working out or hanging out with friends or enrolling in some kids group activities. The winter is the worst for being a stay at home mom. I am joining the moms club in my town & will be trying to meet some more stay at home moms to hang out with! Good luck Nadya! |
| posted by Katie on 01/30/2009 09:41 PM
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It's true... we're never satisfied! LOL. I was a SAHM for a lil over four months & at times seriously felt clinically depressed, although at the time I didnt realize it or want to admit it because who wants to be "depressed" right? How could I when the Lord just blessed me w/ a beautiful healthy baby girl? I had a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs & food on my table? How ungrateful could I be?
You know I now realize it was the lack of adult conversation & mind stimulation making me feel this way. Feeling like I was no longer me, but just a "mom." I now realize you cant help what you feel, so its a good thing you recognize and admit something's "wrong" What helped me snap out of it at times was stand up comedy. I had old DVD's I had seen and even 2 VHS I found. I would pop them in and laugh. Anything that will make you laugh or even smile will always make you feel better.
Any hoot, I said we're never happy because I returned to work two weeks ago and although I love the conversations, the work and the fact that I can now start to really shop again, I want nothing more but to just be home again ALL DAY with my little one. Even if that means being bored w/ her all day. |
| posted by April on 01/31/2009 05:30 PM
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| Okay, so my girlfriends and I used to get together every now and then and no matter what the occasion, the end result was always the same. We'd all sit there and talk about "our" men. You know, complain, whine and laugh at them. Well one of my friends finally suggested that instead of just complaining and wishing they were different, we do something about it. After all, we were starting to sound like broken records and begining to annoy ourselves. So, believing you can not change a man, we decided to go to the only "person" who could. God. My friend started a prayer group. We go once a week and the kids get to play while we pray. Of course we still whine, complain and laugh at the men and situations in our lives, but at least we are doing something about it. And when you go to the Lord, you have to humble yourself so we began noticing our defects too. So now we pray for our children, our men and our selves (and anything else going on in our lives as well as give thanks for what we're blessed with). Is this something that maybe you and your friends, mom, relatives can do? It's completely free and completely good for you. What I especially like is that one of my friends mom goes and takes her friend. They are older than us and have been married for years and years, so they can give me advise my friends cant, plus being its a prayer group, they give advise that pertains to how the Lord wants us to live. I feel great ever since we started doing this and believe it or not, many of the things I've praid for have come true! |
| posted by April on 02/04/2009 03:28 PM
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