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| With childcare so expensive, who can afford it these days. My husband and I came to an agreement that I could stay home and watch our son and then when he is in school I could go back to work but hopefully by then I will have another child to watch, no I'm not saying I never wanna work again it's just that I would like to have another kid. |
| posted by Chelle on 10/15/2007 07:51 PM |
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| A good friend of mine is a single mom, and she has to work. She would love to have the choice, but she does not. Many moms work because they don't have a choice. |
| posted by Vero on 10/15/2007 11:37 PM |
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| My husband and I have 2 children and we share the responsibility of caring for them when the other one works. We always had our children in a pre -school (twice a week) which helped balance our time and also was beneficial to our children. Neither one of us makes a lot of money, but I like what I do. It's nice to get out and socialize with adults and to financially contribute to the house. My only wish is to find more time to go out with my husband! As for the cost of the pre-school, I did find a program in my community that deducts the cost as long as both parents are working. This definately helped!! |
| posted by elaine on 10/17/2007 10:22 AM |
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| I don't believe that there can be any one standard of what would be the "right" choice when it comes to this issue. It depends entirely on the family dynamic and what scenario will be the best fit for YOUR family. My husband and I decided that it was financially necessary for me to go back to work, which is a hard thing for me, and of course I'd love to be home with my son. We have a very close family friend with lots of experience watching him four days a week and his grandmother watches him the other day. Our friend watches two other babies, so he gets lots of social interaction and of course, he loves the time spent with his grandmother, so we feel that we've achieved the best situation with what we need to accomplish. My sister tried to be a stay at home mom and went nuts without any adult interaction. Her personality just struggled with it a lot. After a few months, she went back to work and her daughter stayed with grandma during the day. The scenario was never better or healthier for both of them. It seems that people are quick to decide what is "right" when really, what matters, is finding what is best and healthiest for your child and your family. |
| posted by Mandy on 10/18/2007 01:22 PM |
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| I totally agree with Mandy that it is up to each family to figure out what is right for them. |
| posted by Indigo Ottyr on 10/19/2007 02:27 AM |
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| As long as you find quality care for your child(ren) that reinforces the values you want instilled in your child it is fine. I became a SAHM 1 1/2 yrs ago. It's a big financial strain, but I love being here with them. If I really need to bring in money, I have a background in food service and I can start waitressing or bartending at night. I will still be home with them. It's what will work for us. |
| posted by Denise on 10/19/2007 05:17 PM |
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I think it is ideal if the mom can stay home (so greatful I am able to!), but if not I think having them stay w/a trusted caregiver can work quite nicely. Im not a fan of daycare and hope I never have to put my little girl in there, only because I have worked in them and the way some of the other workers would treat the children was terrible. They werent abusive, but they werent kind to them and I wouldnt want my baby in that situation knowing how daycares can be. Plus I think children do better w/one on one (or as close to one on one as you can get) care and attention.
My heart goes out to moms who HAVE to work but wish to stay home w/their children :( |
| posted by Jenn on 10/23/2007 06:39 PM |
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I respect all Mothers who work. I also respect all Mothers who stay at home. I am just now learning about both sides. i worked from the age of 15 to 28 years old. I went back to work after only six weeks of having had a c-sec. I will never EVER forget that morning and the pain I felt. But, and now I laugh, look back and don't know where I found the strength and energy. To breastfeed, to cook, to clean, to be a wife, to work, to be MOM 100% of my time. It was exhausting and I hated every minute because I hated my job and the fact I left my son everyday. I always truly admired all women with multiple children who worked and how they could keep it together and juggle everything.
Now, being at home with my son who is 2 years old, I see the other side to the struggle. I now feel as if I had more time then to do things. Maybe because I'm still working on a routine and I am preggers and suffering from bad mroning sickness, but I struggle to keep the house clean, I wish i could still do more with my son. I see other moms at the park or supermarket and they are so collected and their kids are behaving and LISTENING to them :). I admire them so much because it seems they have all this control and I am now learning a new control I have with my child who is testing new boundaries because all of a sudden I am home with him. And also discovering how quickly one can become lonely with no adult talk. (But yet I can re enact any Wiggles DVD for you on the spot)
My heart goes out to all MOMS in general and all we do for our kids, to each is their own personal struggle. |
| posted by Renata on 10/23/2007 09:03 PM |
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| My husband works full time outside the home and I am able to stay home with our daughter. However, I work some evenings when he is home and on weekends when he is home. This way, I am contributing, getting a little time away, and we do not have to pay for childcare! Also, one of us is always with our daughter! |
| posted by kendra on 11/16/2007 09:33 AM |
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| No right or wrong answer, it depends on the family situation as well as the personality of the parents. Many mom's at least initially would love to stay home and bond with their children but often this is neither practical nor possible. Occasionally when it is possible, it drives the mother crazy especially if she has always been a career person. There is no benefit to staying home with a child and resenting being there. |
| posted by Afihtan on 02/26/2008 12:19 AM |
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| Some moms have to work and some moms don't, so right there it is a tricky question to answer. I am a SAHM but I am only a SAHM because we can afford it and because it is how my husband was raised. I know personally I could never trust a daycare or a stranger to be with my child during the day while I worked but lots of people do it. I plan to work from home when I'm ready and so far I'm not. |
| posted by Heather on 02/28/2008 04:13 PM |
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| I personally think it's the mother's choice. If she feels as if she wants/needs to work, go right ahead. There's not right or wrong choice there I don't think. |
| posted by Jamie on 04/18/2008 02:48 PM |
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| I think that every situation is different and you need to do what is right for you.I am a sahm and I have a friend that is a sahm but I also have ac couples of friends that have to work a few hours a week at least for now and I think that they are very brave and dedicated because I don't know if I would be able to get everyone out the door with out pulling my hair out. It also helps to have a husband that suports what ever you do and helps so you don't stress about what you feel you have/need to do. |
| posted by Anne on 04/22/2008 04:10 PM |
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| I think that you want to have kids, you need to raise them. Giving them to someone else to raise isn't fair to either party. With most 40 hour shifts including a lunch break and driving time, most parents don't see their children for more than 2-3 hours a day. |
| posted by Mary Ellen on 07/23/2008 07:27 PM |
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| I personally would love to be able to stay at home, but that is impossible at our home. I am the family "bread winner" and my income is needed to pay the majority of our bills. I am glad to see that most people support a mothers decision to work. It is hard enough raising childern let alone the feeling of guilt mothers feel when they have to work. |
| posted by Nicole on 08/05/2008 08:11 PM |
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| It is up the family to figure out what is right for that family. I have stayed home since I had my daughter 8 yrs ago, and now have a son that is 2 1/2 yrs. I would not change staying at home, though I do miss going to work and having those friends and adults to talk too. But, I love being at home with my son and daughter when she gets out of school. Though, when my son starts school, I will be going back to work. But, only part time so, I can be home with them after school. Hopefully be able to get a job with the school district so, I can be home when they are off of school for holidays. But, that is 2 yrs or more down the road to think about right now. It is a strain on our budget also, but we make it work. |
| posted by Suzanne on 09/22/2008 09:22 AM |
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| I feel that no one, mother or father should be forced to work. I believe it is much healthier if they were able to choose. But so many families don't look outside of a JOB for supplemental income, and when it is presented to them, only 2% of them take the opportunity seriously. I don't know if anyone pays attention to what is going on in the world and in the economy, but a lot of people are struggling because they are losing their jobs left and right, and then all they do is try to go get another lame J.O.B. Internet is where it's at and I am thankful that financially I have the choice of whether I want to work or not. |
| posted by Amber on 09/28/2008 03:52 AM |
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| I think that before you even get married, this is something that needs to be established with your spouse. Sometimes a woman wants to work or stay home and the husband does not really agree. As long as both parents are happy than everything is o.k. Personally, I feel that children grow up soo fast I want to be able to enjoy their childhood! I choose to stay home and that is my choice and I am happy that my husband supports that decision. |
| posted by Carol on 10/06/2008 02:22 PM |
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| It is personal and everybody should do what they want. |
| posted by Maria on 10/21/2008 10:31 PM |
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| I don't think it is for anyone to judge what other parents choose to do as far as working outside the house. Everything works differently for different people/families. |
| posted by Suzie on 11/04/2008 08:49 PM |
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I think that as long as you are doing what is best for your family that is all that matters. Mom knows best.
Warm Regards, Lucy |
| posted by lucy on 11/16/2008 08:45 AM |
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| I'd much rather be home, doing what I need to do and building my business from home then worrying about if I have enough time to take off if my child is sick or if I'll be home for the holidays and whatnot. But, some moms like to go to work everyday and I voted for "that's fine if that's what u want to do" because everyone has their own preferance and I admire that. |
| posted by Crystal on 11/24/2008 11:35 AM |
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| well Im gonna be completely honest and say whats the sense of having kids if you arent gonna stay home and raise them they are supposed to be at the top of your priority list, now don't get me wrong some ppl are in a relationship have a kid and then something happens andthe relationship ends and the mom has no choice but to work. I hate daycare if u put your kid in daycare to work are you really making any money or just putting it all towards daycare or the babysitter?? |
| posted by Grace on 01/21/2009 11:44 AM |
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| i think it depends on your financial situation,i am a stay at home mom i like being home when my children gets home,my husband provides for us and we ok. |
| posted by althea on 02/18/2009 09:54 AM |
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I believe that is best to have one parent at home with the child most of the time. I think that you should have a stay at home mom or dad. I know that this really old fashion but I believe in homeschooling also. LOL
I do believe those are some who need to work for finanial reasons though. I can see that and those are the ones who have to. I think that it would be better if one worked first shift (9am-5pm) and maybe another works the second shift (4pm-12am).
I just think that parents are (at least should be) the child's best teacher and nurturer. |
| posted by Krista on 02/18/2009 11:06 AM |
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| It's completely up to you and your partner. What makes one couple happy may make another miserable. I'd be miserable if I couldn't work. My husband would be miserable without his work- he genuinely loves his work and takes great joy in it. When he's working, he puts everything into but when he's home, he's really home. I don't think either one of us would be as happy and well balanced if we both didn't work. Some people don't want to work or feel that one of the two should be at home to take care of the kids. It's all about what makes the whole family happy and healthy. I support any decision made by couples together. |
| posted by Rebecca on 07/01/2009 04:08 PM |
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| My mom was a single mom of four. She had to work. Fathers were all dead beats. I love my mom and she raised how she thought was rite. Let me tell you if you don't have to do it then don't. We were a very ng unhappy family. It's hard growing up withoherut a mother able to be a mother. |
| posted by Alejandra on 11/08/2009 01:11 AM |
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| i dont work i stay home to be with my daughter me and my husband both agreed to not put her in daycare we just cant trust her needs will be met in a child care and in todays world i dont trust noone with my pride and joy |
| posted by Amanda on 11/24/2009 10:31 AM |
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| me and my fiance have a system that work and we dont have to pay for chil care. i work night shift at my job then he works overnight stocking inventory for the company. this way one of us is always with the child. |
| posted by allison on 12/20/2009 02:31 AM |
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| I didn't trust anyone to watch my daughter and my family members all worked, so I stayed home. I will be staying home with my 2nd baby when he/she comes until they are in school. |
| posted by amanda on 12/30/2009 09:25 PM |
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| I work Amway Global out of my home and get to spend lots of time with my children. I think it is totally up to the mother and her situation. I am so thankful I found something my husband and I can do together and I can stay at home with my babies while still contributing to our household. My babies are 1 and 2, so I really don't trust them being with others for a long period of time. I want to be there for everything, and I have more invested in my children then any sitter. Also I worked resaurants so I wouldnt be making very much after paying for 2 in childcare. No judging here though, it is obvious that some have no choice or feel more fulfilled being able to juggle both. Some of you jugglers are amazing, and I honestly don't think I could do what you do! |
| posted by Lisa on 09/21/2011 03:31 PM |
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