As promised, I am sharing with you my private journals from “week one” of my pregnancy. Getting pregnant didn’t come as easily as I thought it would! I figured that since my husband and I we’re strong and healthy, we’d be pregnant the very first month. I even told everyone that we’d be pregnant within the first 30 days of trying. Well, I had to eat my words.
God had other plans...
Jen’s Journal: Week One
It's been over four months of "trying" and we're still not pregnant. I'm not sure what is going on.
Maybe we are too old—I'm 35 and Dan is 37. Did we wait too long?
We've been married over five years, and I've been the one who wanted to wait, and now I'm secretly crying every month when I get my period.
I was at lunch the other day with two of my girlfriends, and I broke down again over the fact that we're still not pregnant! They both have children, so I don't think they truly understand.
Maybe God doesn't think I'll be a good mother. There were many times in my life when I said, "I will never have kids." Maybe God heard me and listened.
But in my heart, I know that's not true. I know I just need to wait upon God. He knows when I'm ready.
I've been praying every month that if I'm pregnant, that God will help me to be a great mother, and that I will raise my kids to know and love Him.
