Need Help With Mornings - View Question

Need Help With Mornings

Mornings around my house are chaotic! I have three boys 9, 7 and 3, oh, and one on the way! Another boy! I am having a hard time getting out of the house in the morning with out being completely frustrated. We try to prepare at night, but no matter what, somehow we are, let me rephrase that, I am out the door in a panic. It is generally taking too long to get dressed, leaving lunch on the table, bookbags and coats in the foyer. We have 45 minutes to get dressed and get out the door, I feel that is enough time! The worst part is I get frustrated and am in a bad mood and get snappy! I can't stand starting off the day like this!!!!!! Does anyone have any advice? What works for your family?

See also: Help, mornings, boys, stress

Written by Whitney

Posted on 11/07/2008

See all posts by Whitney

Answers:

I am in the same boat as you. I have a 4 1/2 yr old, a 3 1/2 yr old and 2 yr old twins... So everything is pretty much up to me! They arent quite at the age that they pick out their own clothes and all that. So, I get their clothes out and the 3 and 4 yr olds can dress themselves, but sometimes they are just 'too tired' and dont want to get up and I end up doing it for them b/c its quicker. I also have about 30-45 mins to get them ready and out the door, even though I get up earlier to get myself ready. I dont know how to do anything different than what Im doing b/c I put them in bed at 8-830, and they still dont usually fall asleep until anywhere from 9-10. So, of course they are tired in the morning at 6am.
So, after trying to make sure everyone gets up without a fight and gets dressed and socks and shoes on, etc, I also get frustrated and snappy, and its no fun. But by the time we get in the car if no one is crying then I calm down on the way taking them to preschool. I could definitely use some advise myself!! Lol

posted by Amy on 11/09/2008

I am also kind of in the same boat as both of you :( :) My kids are 28 months and 14 months. I am the one that does the majority of the preparing in the mornings and get frustraited also. But the only I try to look forward is onece everyone is in the car...we are good to go. Maybe as far as forgetting things..if your husband ( i would assume...sorry if I am wrong) could start the car and put everyhting in the car...that would be great! the best thing...or have him watch the kids while you start and load the car...but that would get a lil harder as you are further along. Hope this helps! :)

posted by Jessica on 11/09/2008

I am a single parent of a four year old, so i cant imagine how chaotic your mourning routine really is. I would suggest putting the boys to bed 15 to 20 minutes early and have them get up 15 to 20 minutes earlier in the morning. I know it seems like such a small amount of time but with three kids and one on the way i know you understand how important every minute is in the morning. I'm not sure how far along you are now, but i would suggest that you take the time on the weekends to teach the three year old how get himself ready. You could show him how to put shoes on (velcro all the way), brush teeth, and comb hair. You would be suprised how much those little things help. Good luck and i hope i was able to help.

posted by Deeney on 11/18/2008

I have a 7 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. My oldest just started second grade this year and we made it a big deal that she got to pick out her very own alarm clock. We also made a list of everything that needed to be done in the morning and hung it in her room. I t has been wonderfull! She is not a morning person but ever since it has been a annoying beep waking her up instead of mommy she gets up much quicker. This may be due to the fact that I placed the alarm clock on her book shelf so she has to get up to turn it up. No more arguing about getting out of bed. She is up and making her bed when I come in. She goes thru her list and we are on our way. This also frees up time so I can deal with my youngest. We also set out clothes when we go to bed so when she gets up she doesn't have to pick them out.

posted by Tiffany on 11/22/2008

I have two boys (10 & 9) and one daughter (2-1/2). We have our routine down and it works well. I'll tell you the routine at the end, but you need to set the ground rules first.

RULE # 1: You must make it absolutely clear that the morning is ONLY about getting ready to leave for the day. Their job and yours is to get ready to leave the house not to play, watch tv, socialize, or search the house for some object /toy/ or even homework paper.

RULE # 2: You must REFUSE to help them look for anything in the morning. Don't get caught up helping them search for a toy or a missing glove or some other item. My sons used to do that to me and we were always late and I was always completely frustrated. Be clear, firm and dismiss them quickly if they ask for you help. Refer to Rule # 1 on this.

RULE # 3: Absolutely NO television, playing, or video games in the morning unless they are all THREE completely READY and only if there's more than 10 minutes left before you have to get shoes and coats on. Don't fall for the "But there's three minutes left before we have to go, I'll be quick!".

RULE # 4: For the older boys, they are responsible for getting ready including homework, backpacks, coats, gloves, lunches, etc. If they can't find it or they forget it that needs to be THEIR problem and not yours. They must be responsible.

RULE # 5: Mind the clock. The older ones should know what time they need to be up, what time they have to get on shoes and coat, and what time you are leaving. This must be clear and concises and followed (you too :)

Here's a typical morning at our house:

Mom is up 1 hour before anyone else and I get myself ready without interruption from the kids.

The boys have their own alarm clocks and are responsible for getting up 60 minutes before they need to be out the door. They wake up and get dressed immediately, they come down stairs make their own breakfast (cereal, waffles, or frozen pancakes), pack the majority if not all of their lunch themselves, unload the dishwasher, then, put coats, shoes, backpack by door, then they go off to brush teeth, brush hair, wash face, etc. Most days they still have time to play even before they have to leave.... and yes did you catch that they also unload the dishwasher? Yes, they do it.

Once I'm ready, I wake up our daughter (if she's not already up). Same routine though... I get her dressed, I bring her downstairs, I make her breakfast, etc.

The boys are also old enough to help you out with the youngest one. Enlist them to help get on the younger one's shoes, coat, or if you one of them to go get something for you.

The key is having your boys be as responsible as possible, know the rules, and what's expected of them, and to take care of things like homework in backpack before going to bed at night.

Good luck!

posted by Rachelle on 01/12/2009

I actually found that forced organization works really well, especially since NO ONE in my house is a morning person. Here are some of the things I've done to help get us up and out...

1. I bought one of those hanging sweater bags for each child's closet and labeled them with the days of the week. On Sundays, the boys and I choose their clothes for the whole week. Each outfit (including socks and underwear) are placed on the correct shelf. I have to admit, the boys are young and well... they are boys. I'm not sure if this would ever work with a girl. So far, no arguments that they've changed their mind on what they want to wear. :)

2. One of the same hanging organizers was placed in my front hall closet, again with the days of the week labeled on them. Anything that needs to be accomplished for that day is thrown in the bin during the week. For example, library books go back on Mondays, so they are placed on the Monday shelf.

3. Each child was given a basket to keep by their bedroom door. This is where their backpacks and shoes go every night. Backpacks are checked after their pj's go on. Anything not important enough to remember the night before is not added to a search mission the next morning.

4. My coffee is programmed to brew at the same time every morning. I have my morning fuel and I don't spend money because I had to grab one on the way and didn't have time to make it.

5. Lunches are packed the night before and placed in the fridge.

6. Baths happen before bed time.

7. No TV during breakfast. No playing in the morning. I put on my make-up while the boys eat.

8. Since both of my boys are small require my help with most things, none of us leaves the upstairs for breakfast until everyone is ready. This doesn't allow them to start playing or make messes.

This is not a science. Sometimes it helps more than others, especially because we are potty training right now! I will say that since I have forced us to be more organized, our mornings are much less chaotic and I am not ready to go back to bed by the time we are out the door.

posted by Stephanie on 01/13/2009

Hi Whitney,
I know what you mean. I am not an a.m. person. So I am in the same boat as you. I have a 6 , 5, and 11 month old. I have 2 different drop off times and 2 pick up times. I just get my girls ready and I look like a train has ran me over. I love make up and I like taking care of myself. Nowdays I'm lucky if I get to take a shower without interuptions.My girls are in the bathtub by 7:00 in their room by 7:20 lights out by 7:45 p.m. I have been getting the girls backpacks ready at night and I'm not ironing everything like I used to. We usually have them eat their breakfast in the car. I don't make them lunch I only pack them snacks. They buy their lunch. I'm working on getting myself organized. It seems though just when I'm on the right track, someone gets sick, I have a diaper explosion, someone calls, and so on. My 6 year old is a great helper.There is light at the end of the tunnel. When your day is not going good and you feel frustrated I find that driving to the local Dunkin Donuts and having a few minutes to myself without thinking about chores rejuvinates me.
Good luck, Lucy

posted by lucy on 03/08/2009

sorry for the repeats I thought my computer was not working....

posted by lucy on 03/08/2009

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