when you like the parents but not the kids! - View Question

when you like the parents but not the kids!

I have few friends that clearly I like but I do not like how the combination between my kids and theirs. I try to see them when the kids are in school but sometimes would be nice to have dinner or a family outing and I am dreading the kids vibes.

I know someone is going to push someone else, and someone is going to cry and at one point is not going to be fun anymore.

What should I do, just hang on until the kids will go to college?

Vero

See also: friendship

Written by Vero

Posted on 04/09/2008

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Answers:

I have had the same experience, and it is not easy to handle! If it was my house I would just take some time with the children to set some rules, and if your friends aren't enforcing them, then I don't think it would be rude to take charge...someone has to, and it shouldn't be the kids!

posted by Jennifer on 04/09/2008

The problem in this particular case is that the parents are very gentle and the kid is a mix of bully and insecure. He is a little older than may kids and he called them "the little ones" (which is ridiculous).
The other day, in order to keep the situation calm, I allow them to watch cartoon. So everything I had taped he said it was for babies, then I mention Curious George, and he was all excited. I did not let that one pass and I reply " well don't you think that for babies too...".lol

Vero

posted by Vero on 04/09/2008

Kids somehow think that age is such a big deal, right? When he gets older, he will then want to be younger than them!! How much older is he? In my case the parent was not just gentle but aloof, did not follow through with his directives, and his daughter too was a bully and 1 year older than my daughter...We don't see much of them anymore, but what I had to do was to get on her level and talk to her like a friend and yet still let her know that I was to be respected (because I am an adult). My daughter (for some reason) just adored her and would let this girl walk all over her. Yet I did not, and I hoped that my example would help my daughter to understand what was right. I think that all kids want to be given boundaries, they make them feel directed, secure and safe...and they look to us adults for this. Although, if you can do one thing, it would be to talk to your own kids later after he is gone about his behavior that concerns you. Maybe explain to them why you think he is like that (he is insecure) and role play in how they could handle the situation on their own.

posted by Jennifer on 04/10/2008

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