Marriage HELP - View Question

Marriage HELP

My husband and I have been married for 3 years and now we have a 3 month old baby girl, who consumes a lot of our time. My husband hit me with a bomb shell last week telling me he is not in love with me anymore. We have not had any major issues, he says we don't even seem like we are friends anymore. Is this something he is going thru with the challenge of being a new dad and having all of this new responsibility? Please help I feel so alone.

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Written by Jessica

Posted on 08/27/2007

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Answers:

I reccommend reading Blindsided by a Diaper. It is a book of firsthand accounts of the struggles couples go through when they become parents. It sounds like he is having trouble adjusting to parenthood- not just the responsibility, but sharing your attention as well. It is very common for couples to go through this, but you need to work together to get through it. Talk with him about it, set aside some time for each other. If you are not ready for a babysitter yet, plan a "date" for after the baby is asleep. Since you are probably also exhausted, take a nap when the baby does so you will have more energy to stay up. It will take some time, but you can get through it.

posted by Marcia on 08/27/2007

Have you sought therapy? You are not alone, God is always with you.

posted by Abby on 08/28/2007

I would greatly consider marriage counselling if he will agree. Not all men want to work on the marriage. 3 years is a normal time for couples to feel this way about each other. My husband and I went through it at the same time for about two years, until we got issues uncovered. I discovered my husband was into pornography which really was the whole issue. He felt guilty for looking at it, and it showed in his every day behavior. Didn't want to be close to me, didn't want to have any close bonding with our new baby daughter, and just wanted to play with our son. After we delt with this issue (which we saw a counselor for) other issues seemed simpler, but my husband wanted to work on it. So, I guess I would ask him why he feels this way, and if he would consider a "Marriage" councelor. The first thing I learned was my husband needed my to ask in order for him to tell.

posted by Hollie on 08/29/2007

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