Still trying to Bond - Maybe its the sleep deprivation :o) - View Question

Still trying to Bond - Maybe its the sleep deprivation :o)

My daughter is 11 months now and I still fill like someone dropped off their child and just hasn't picked her up yet. There are times when I just can't get enough of her cuteness and then there are those times when I know I must be the worst Mom in the world because I actually can't stand to be around her.

We are having so much trouble getting her to sleep at/through night and I am not a stay at home Mom so sleep is precious to me.

Has anyone else felt so disconnected even at almost a year?

Sleep...For the love of all that is holy!!! Does anyone have suggestions for getting an 11 month old to sleep in her own bed, through the night?????

See also: sleep, bond, sleeping, bonding, tires

Written by Christina

Posted on 08/26/2007

See all posts by Christina

Answers:

I understand how you feel. I am a SAHM now but wasn't when both my boy's were babies. My oldest I bonded with well when he was born. He was an easy going baby and slept most of the time. Now my youngest is the one I had a hard time bonding with. Yes we love them but it's not bonding exactly. Honestly I don't think I truely bonded with him till he was older. Mainly because he was a very cranky baby and I didn't get much sleep with him. It was a rough time. As they get older you will find you will bond more with her. Your not a bad mom to have these feelings. To be honest I enjoy both my boy's a lot more now that they are 7 and 5 then I ever did when they were babies. As for advice have you tried a soothing bath just before bedtime with some lavendar baby wash? Sorry I couldn't be of more help in that.

posted by Jody on 08/26/2007

I laughed reading your post because I was in the exact same boat. I worked and my son woke up every 2 hours like clock work. Nevermind, it took me a half hour each time to get him back down again. And he screemed in the middle of the night like the house was on fire. I was a mess at work from the lack of sleep. And when I seeked advise from other moms they would just say their baby sleeps fine. Like mine must be broken. I felt alone and a total disconnect at times. He's now 4 almost 5 and he gets up once a night! After all the years of "fire alarms", once a night is nothing.

When he was a baby I tried EVERYTHING and bought all kinds of books. Most of the time I was too tired to read them but I did. I learned two main things that worked for my 2nd baby.

1. remember that how your baby goes to sleep, i.e. rocking, singing, etc. Is what they will expect when they wake in the middle of the night. So it's best for them to sleep on their own. That's the real trick! My now 1 year old sleeps on her own and thru the night. I put her down totally sleepy but not asleep. That worked for her but I never saw that working for my son.

2. sleeping is a learned behavior, some kids take longer and they need to learn how to "self sooth". My son never did. He didn't take a pacifire, blanket, etc. Some kids are just a pain, mine was.

As she gets older, she'll sleep better. Also try, teething tablets. You can get them at the market. she may be teething and I found those to help.

posted by kissandra on 02/12/2009

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