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| me and my fiance have been finghting like mad lately. i dont know why. i do but i dont. it just feels like he keeps making little comments aboutme that make me feel like crap and he doesnt think he is doing that. and then i just get so pissed off at him by the time we go to bed that i could just kick him. and he doesnt get it. he keeps asking me when we are getting married and to set a date, but i dont want to. we have been together for 5 years in oct. and i have never once doubted us. but now i find myself not wanting to set a date. i hate it. i hate fighting with him i hate going ot bed mad at him. i try to make sure we dont do that no matter what, but when i wish i could jsut kick him hard, its hard to roll over and kiss him good night and say i love you. and then we have a 6 month old daughter. i hat e to have her see us fight. even if she cant understand it yet, i think she can. she feeds off of us. i hated watching my parents fight, i dont want that for her. i keep telling myself to try harder, but its not jsut me and he thinks it is. and that pisses me off bad. he is not by all means perfect and he thinks the problems lately are jsut me. maybe ive been on edge, but its not all me. i never get a break, i stay home with ella, and never go out alone unless its just running to the store or something in the afternoon. who wouldnt be on edge? and then, its hard keeping up on the house and ella, im not super mom! and he NEVER picks up after himself. we have lived together for almost 3 years and i have never noticed it until ella was born. i hate it. like tonight, i spent all day scrubbing the kitchen down. for what? for him to make supper tonight and completely put it back at square one. and then not even bother cleaning up after himslef. pig. im sorry, i just need to vnet allittle. i feel like im just ticking away, just waiting to explode on him. i probably should, we need it. at least i do!! lol thanks for listening. |
| See also: relationships |
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Hi,
It's me again. I can totally relate. I too live with a slob and to add he has two children from his first marrage that are also slobs. It makes ne nuts that he thinks the entire house is his laundry basket and he also leaves a mess in the kitchen. I try not to get mad, and we don't fight. But I do let him know that it bothers me and that he needs to try and change his ways. Try not to fight in front of your little one, even though she is still a baby this will affect her. Maybe try a schedule for cleaning, one day you do something and the next day he does it. As far as setting a date, is it because of the comments or that he is sloppy? |
| posted by on 08/23/2007 |
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| i dont know if it all of it or just cold feet. the comments are by all means not horrible. im very sensitive. i dont want you to think hes horrible. he works 10 hour days so i try to do as much as i can. he knows it bugs me and he says he tries, but not hard enough i dont think. i think we are both styill having a hard time adjusting to me being a SAHM. i love it though. i dont know if im afraid of divorce or that final step to really giving up "single" life even though we have pretty much been married forever. i dont know. |
| posted by Devon on 08/23/2007 |
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| relationships are always hard and they seems to always change. I too am engaged and we have not set a date yet. It's been hard for me to adjust, I was very independent, I had a good job and owned my own house. So I understand about cold feet. I think we haven't set a date because i don't want a big wedding, I would rather go to vegas. As far as being sensitive, your hormones may not have gone back to normal yet. From what my dr said it takes a while. My future hubby teases me about stuff a lot and I just let him know when it bothers me. He calls me spicy or monk (from the TV show). Most days I laugh about it but sometimes it really bothers me. If you have been together this long you know you both will work through it. |
| posted by on 08/23/2007 |
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| we dont want anything big either, jsut a back yard wedding. its hard, i went form working 50 hours a week to only baby mode. and its hard knowing you didnt go out and earn any of the money. htat was hard fo rme. i know im doing my part, but its still hard. mitch has a hard time understanding taht. sometimes hell make a comment like hes hte one out earning all the money and stuff, that hurts. well work through it, i jsut need to vent sometimes. |
| posted by Devon on 08/23/2007 |
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Hello
I was just reading your blog and I can relate. I to, stay at home and it took me a long time to get used to not working. I was mad all the time and frustrated. The only thng that got me through is that I went to talk to someone and he told me that to think of my life as a choice. I choose to stay at home with my boys and that is the best thing for them. I have to calm down and just look at my life in a different way than that I am stuck here. It has worked it's not always easy but I keep trying. My husband and I have been together for 12 years so I understand about being a slob, but he does help me. Keep going don't give up, I was very afraid to get married but I have found that it is not much different from when we were living together. I love him very much he is my best friend, he knows everything. I have always just tried to "pick and choose your battles wisely". It will take time you both have to just accept each other for who you are. I hope that this helped. |
| posted by Tara on 08/23/2007 |
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| thank you |
| posted by Devon on 08/23/2007 |
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