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| Loosing Control |
| I have to admit I have been a very controlling person and it is my worst habit just with cleaning. I feel though after having my son I have lost all control. When he was first born I would get so angry because he ate every two hours and my husband couldn't nurse him I had no time to clean. My husband would try to help but I would get mad because that was not the way I did it. I used to keep the house organized and clean. My files were even alphabatized and in date order now all of my paper work is in old diaper boxes just waiting to be put somewhere.
We had company over a while back and my husband told them I am not a clean person that it didn't matter if they spilled their drinks. He didn't mean anything bad by it in fact he told me later what he meant was I am easy going and I like to clean. What I heard him say was that I was nasty and not worth being around. We fought bad for a long time and I didn't know why I was so angry. One day it just hit me I have lost control of my house and it was eating me alive. My husband and even my family members have told me I don't seem to happy.
My son is almost 15 months and I realized this just a few months ago. What did I do? Well I started a mommy group on raising them it keeps me busy and is very fun. I also started thinking that if our house caught on fire weather the papers were filed or not they would all be lost. I have been letting our son get into almost everything because he is learning, curious, and growing, and I know that when he goes down for a nap or to bed I can either pick it up or wait until later. My husband spilled a coffee drink on our brand new couch and I told him I was busy and if he wanted I could pick it up later. I have to tell you I think he was scared because he ran for a towel. Before I would have dropped everything I was doing get angry at him and would run to the spill.
My house doesn't have to be spotless or organized as long as we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, laughter, and each other there is no reason for me to be angry or cranky. Now I pick up when we get the chance or when I think about it. Right now we are enjoying our son and playing with everything. Don't get me wrong I do keep my house safe for our son and us when we are up in the middle of the night, but I have learned there is more to life. FINALLY.
It was very hard for my husband to get used to me being this way (layed back), but I think now he is enjoying me really for the first time. It must of been extremely hard for him the last five years. I sometimes think he is waiting for me to get upset over the house being a wreck, but I'm not going to. I just sit back and laugh with our son when my husband comes home and starts to clean. I let everyone that wants to help out help. It took me awhile but I am glad that I can see what is important now I have a beautiful son and a wonderful husband. That is true happiness. |
| See also: loosing control, cleaning, happiness, diapers |
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| Answers: |
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Toni,
I have my papers separated , yessiree, into two huge piles of "those to be shredded" and "those to be filed", LOL. I think my to be filed pile is actually composed of more paper than is IN the filing cabinet right now.
I too am a control freak who has learned and is learning to loosen up. It is difficult at times to accept that my house is no longer spotless like it was prebabies and when i could spend a halfday on weekends cleaning and dusting. What i have come to accept is that to have a spotless house with 2 babies and a hubby who works a lot of hours, would mean that i would have to give up most everything that i enjoy doing. Being "SUPERMOM" to me is not worth my sanity and happiness. Mom has to take care of herself in order to be able to give and give to her family.
Now my house stays "picked up" and safe for the kids to roam but definitely not spotless! But for the most part, I am happy with that. |
| posted by Andrea R. on 06/20/2007 |
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| What a great feeling you must have Toni! It almost sounds liberating for you to have this new position on life and importance of cleanliness. There is even a freedom in your words. Congrats and happy not so spotless house. Because you're right, is that what really matters-NOt At All |
| posted by Lori on 06/20/2007 |
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| Thank you ladies for the comments. Andrea I love it supermom is not for me but a happy mom is. Lori thank you very much I didn't think of it like that but I do believe I have a sense of freedom from the organization monster. |
| posted by Toni on 06/21/2007 |
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