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| He crushed me. |
During my pregnancy my boyfriend seemed to leave he was only there to drive me around to work and the doctors. Emotionally he was absent even stopped speaking to me. We stopped being intimate in more than the physical he became emotionally abusive always yelling at me and saying how bad a person I was. Then Jason was born. And he did the unthinkable he cheated on me again,(he slept with a friend of mine befor I got pregnant)I saw the emails felt the emotional distance had his mother disrespecting me and confronted him. He never really explained to me or appoligise its like he cant understand how it hurts. He swears hes changed, will never do it again and wants us to be a family. Am I doing the right thing by giving him another chance? |
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Krystle,
I can totally understand why you would want to give him another chance. I would think long and hard about giving him another chance. It sounds like he has cheated more than once. Do you really think he will be faithful a third, fourth, fifth time? Do you want your son to grow up thinking it's okay to treat women like this? If you allow yourself to be treated this way then Jason will think it's okay. I realize that he is just a baby right now, but he wont always be. You also need to realize that there is no excuse for cheating and you do not deserve to be treated this way. If you do decide to give him another chance, I would have a conversation with him and let him know your expectations of him as an individual, as a father and as a partner and let him know that you need him to live up to these expectations. If you allow someone to treat you like a door mat they will just continue walking all over you. |
| posted by Julie on 01/17/2011 |
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Julie
Thank you so much I didn't realize my son might think it was ok to treat women that way because of his father |
| posted by Krystle on 01/17/2011 |
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Krystle,
I went through something similiar and I finally set a limit to what I was going to put up with and what I wasn't going to put up with....unfortunetly he crossed that line and i left for the sake of my sanity and because I didnt want my daughter to see all that arguing .....i was on my own with my baby ..it was scary & hard at first really scary and hard but when I looked at my daughter I got the strength to do what i needed to do i had two jobs and i took some online classes and I got stronger as a woman and a mother...a year and 8 months later my husband and i reconciled and we said if this is going to work out we have to forgive each other for everything tin our past and let all our drama stay in the past and love each other like we had never hurt one another and be the family we desired to be and we had a deep conversation about what we expected from each other, for our child and our marriage.. so far 2 years into it we are doing great and have added a son to our family...although to be honest I don't think I would have been able to reconcile with him if I hadn't had that time for myself to heal emotionally...I hope my life experiences will help you in making the correct choice for you and your son I wish you the best |
| posted by on 02/01/2011 |
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Krystle,
I went through something similiar and I finally set a limit to what I was going to put up with and what I wasn't going to put up with....unfortunetly he crossed that line and i left for the sake of my sanity and because I didnt want my daughter to see all that arguing .....i was on my own with my baby ..it was scary & hard at first really scary and hard but when I looked at my daughter I got the strength to do what i needed to do i had two jobs and i took some online classes and I got stronger as a woman and a mother...a year and 8 months later my husband and i reconciled and we said if this is going to work out we have to forgive each other for everything tin our past and let all our drama stay in the past and love each other like we had never hurt one another and be the family we desired to be and we had a deep conversation about what we expected from each other, for our child and our marriage.. so far 2 years into it we are doing great and have added a son to our family...although to be honest I don't think I would have been able to reconcile with him if I hadn't had that time for myself to heal emotionally...I hope my life experiences will help you in making the correct choice for you and your son I wish you the best |
| posted by on 02/01/2011 |
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Krystle,
I went through something similiar and I finally set a limit to what I was going to put up with and what I wasn't going to put up with....unfortunetly he crossed that line and i left for the sake of my sanity and because I didnt want my daughter to see all that arguing .....i was on my own with my baby ..it was scary & hard at first really scary and hard but when I looked at my daughter I got the strength to do what i needed to do i had two jobs and i took some online classes and I got stronger as a woman and a mother...a year and 8 months later my husband and i reconciled and we said if this is going to work out we have to forgive each other for everything tin our past and let all our drama stay in the past and love each other like we had never hurt one another and be the family we desired to be and we had a deep conversation about what we expected from each other, for our child and our marriage.. so far 2 years into it we are doing great and have added a son to our family...although to be honest I don't think I would have been able to reconcile with him if I hadn't had that time for myself to heal emotionally...I hope my life experiences will help you in making the correct choice for you and your son I wish you the best |
| posted by on 02/01/2011 |
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Krystle,
I went through something similiar and I finally set a limit to what I was going to put up with and what I wasn't going to put up with....unfortunetly he crossed that line and i left for the sake of my sanity and because I didnt want my daughter to see all that arguing .....i was on my own with my baby ..it was scary & hard at first really scary and hard but when I looked at my daughter I got the strength to do what i needed to do i had two jobs and i took some online classes and I got stronger as a woman and a mother...a year and 8 months later my husband and i reconciled and we said if this is going to work out we have to forgive each other for everything tin our past and let all our drama stay in the past and love each other like we had never hurt one another and be the family we desired to be and we had a deep conversation about what we expected from each other, for our child and our marriage.. so far 2 years into it we are doing great and have added a son to our family...although to be honest I don't think I would have been able to reconcile with him if I hadn't had that time for myself to heal emotionally...I hope my life experiences will help you in making the correct choice for you and your son I wish you the best |
| posted by on 02/01/2011 |
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| oops !! my bad I couldn't tell if my answer was posted lol now I know for sure that it was lmbo |
| posted by on 02/01/2011 |
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| I cant honestly tell you I know how you feel, that is a very hard place to be. But looking in as a third party I think the best thing you can do is not really focus on your romantic relationship with him, but focus on getting along with him and making sure he is a good father. If then later he has proven himself, I would be careful about moving into a relationship again, but right now make sure your son knows he has a mommy AND daddy who loves him |
| posted by Ashley on 02/03/2011 |
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| my boyfriend acted distant during my pregnacy and birth but it got better, i think it depends on how the relationship was before the baby |
| posted by Brooke on 01/09/2012 |
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| with my experience men dont change like that. and it can effect the how your baby sees right and wrong not only can he think possibly that it is okay to treat women that way but he can think it is okay to be treated like that. like it is normal. stay strong honey. |
| posted by Michelle on 02/07/2012 |
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