I am a mother of four beautiful children. My eldest son Elijah, who is 9, was diagnosed with autism (pdd) and ADHD just over a year ago. Even though he wasn't diagnosed earlier, deep down I always knew that was what he was struggling with. So I did some research, we worked with occupational therapists and speech and language pathologists. We had someone come over every week from five counties and work with him. I used to be the only one that Elijah could count on to help him when he needed it. When he was so wound up or overwhelmed but couln't settle on his own, I used to wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. I would put his hand on his heart so he could feel how fast and hard it was beating. I would put my hand on top of his and we would breath. Slowly. Until his heart beat slowed down and he felt calm and safe again. You'd always know when he was settling because he would let out some pretty big yawns! Lately Elijah has become angry. More agressive. I feel like I don't know what I am doing anymore. He's changing and I feel like things are spiraling out of control and it scares me.

If there are any other parents out there who are in the same boat, who have children with ASD or simillar disorders, I would love to speak with you. I know from experience that trying to raise a child with this very specific "special need", is a huge struggle. And that sharing your experiences with other parents can not only be educational but also very comforting, knowing that you're not alone.

Nicole Brow

janixhome@gmail.com