I am losing my temper ans shouting, I need some advices -

I am losing my temper ans shouting, I need some advices

I am a mom to an active, smart , hyper boy;and lately I just tend to shout cause I dont get the results I want after talking and explaining many times

I do believe in limits and discipline, but I do think that love, care, communication are the best tools

I'm so overwhelmed sometimes that I just explode

Thanks for your words =)

Written by Loni

Posted on 03/28/2010

See all posts by Loni

Answers:

we all lose our tempers, especially with hyper children. my son is now 27 but we tried everything when he was young, he had adhd. teachers sent daily report cards and we spent a lot of time discipling him. He suffers low self esteem and i wish I had raised him differently. I now am a grandparent to a 3 1/2 yr old with adhd and he bounces from one thing to the next, his attention span is so small. I bounce with him and do my best not to get frustrated. I teach him that he has a superfast brain but his brakes are not that good to make him proud of his mind but to try to teach him a little self control(the brakes)
i read this in a book called superparenting for ADD.
i find the best thing is playing outdoors, going to parks or indoor play parks, like bouncing on moon boucers. The more he does physically seems to slow him down a bit later.
good luck and best wishes, it is very hard to handle an overactive child but shouting and screaming will make him afraid of you and he may act out even more, try to get down to his level and make eye contact with him, getting his attention is important and eye contact helps him focus and it will help you yell less, we tend to lower our voice when we are face to face. BUT getting frustrated and overwhelmed is normal reaction to such a stressful situation, try not to beat yourself up over it, but do continue to try other methods for both your sakes. Building his self-esteem is vital to raising a child who will succeed and I wish you the very best.

posted by Michelle on 03/30/2010

Thank you so much
=)
I love being with him, it's been a particular stressing situation lately, and I'm doing much better
thanks for your words!

posted by Loni on 03/30/2010

Before you start yelling pause for a moment. Yelling only proves that the situation is not under control. Some kids like to get you upset to see your reaction. My stepson does that with his father all the time. With me he does what I ask because I remain calm and use the tone of my voice to gt my point across. I don't yell when he waste things or breaks something. I just look at him then turn away.I wait to see if he'll clean or fix the problem without metelling him to. If he doesn't then I let him know it's his responsibility to clean up his on mess. He's use to people yelling at him and does not respect them. His mom nor his dad can't get him to do anything. I reward him and encouraged him when he does good. But you have to have a balance.

posted by Adrainana on 04/05/2010

Thanks adrainana
=)

posted by Loni on 04/06/2010

thanks for yuor advice adrainana. i had the exact problem with my son and I. then i read this blog and tried being calm. it was hard but it been working. thank you

posted by skittlez on 05/26/2010

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