For anyone who doesn't know me (which would mean anyone on this site so far) I'm an 18 year old Mommy. But that's just my technical age. You have to factor in all the experience I've had in the past 2 years. 2 weeks before I turned 16, my friend hooked me up with my now husband. At the time, she told me he was 23 divorced and had a 2 year old kid. I didn't think that much of it. I didn't really know what having a child or serious relationship meant. All I knew was that I was with someone repulsive to the eyes and wanted someone more aesthetically pleasing. And when I saw him for the first time, I knew thats exactly what he was. By the time we finished eating and when we were half way thru a horror film and he had had several close encounters between my elbow and his chest/crotch/face because of how jumpy I was, I knew he was a keeper. We went back to his apt with my friend and her b/f and played some video games and then they left and we made out till 1 a.m. On the next date, I lost my virginty sans protection. We tried but it wasnt pleasing. Our relationship was fun and loving and sex filled and my mom hadnt the slightest clue. I fell head over heels at the 2 week mark and knew I never wanted us to end. At one month, he gave me an $800 necklace that I have wore every day since. AT five months, I became pregnant. We knew it was going to happen eventually if we didn't use protection, but for some reason I can't understand to this day is why we didn't. Anyway, we married on 8/8/08. My pregnancy was very hard and I still didn't understand what it meant to have kids. I read books about the pregnancy and birth, and how daunting caring for a baby would be, but it never sank in. i was too young. still self centered. still in love and naive to the ways of this world. that all changed.

my hubby works in the oilfield one week on, one week off. and i cared for the baby  by myself 98% of the time. in the first week, i totalled maybe 4 hours of sleep. hubby? well, he got a straight 7 hours each day, and 99% of the days that followed. i loved my little bundle and never separated from her. still havent to this day. i have not had one break. i have not had one moment to stop and just be ME. which at times is a little... a lot boggling, but i wouldnt have it any other way. she is almost a year now and things have been very rocky after month 5. about that time, i got on mirena birth control and nothing's been the same since. i guess i can blame part of that on my hubby being demoted and his pay cut in half and a million other stresses. but i changed so hard after that. before, i was happy and bright and loving and caring. and then its like i got depressed. i was always in a bad mood. crying. upset. and it only got worse. especially at the start of this year. my hubby got promoted and a pay raise which was good. but it came at a price. he was gone for 7 weeks and we saw him twice. but we moved down here just yesterday. and not so much moved as came with bare essentials to an overpriced hotel just to go back up there in a few days to get all of our things. I'm going to miss my mom and sister a lot. but in order for me to grow into an independant mommy, its for the best.