My daughter -

My daughter

Just to give a little backgroundI am twice divorced and married a third time. Recently my husband and myself seperated and were going to divorce we decided at the very last minute to work on it. My daughter has been difficult since the age of 5 no matter what I do I feel as if its just not enough. She seems to be upset with me a great majority of the time and then when I ask why or what does she want from me it is a nothing or whatever I want the best for my kids and carry an immense amount of guilt around already and I just want to know what ways I can show her I love her without losing my authority as a parent. I want her to understand that there is trials in life but I am doing the best I know how to do and I am learning. I want to have a good relationship with her.

Written by Mary

Posted on 09/08/2009

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Answers:

She is just confused, all the moving around from family to family, she may start believing its becuz of her. I would try spending alot of alone time with her. Take her places where its just you and her. I know she is just 5, but my kids loved it when I would take them to the nail salon. Do some different things. Believe me she knows you love her. She just needs to feel special. It sounds if you have spent alot of time on problems at home, she may feel left out. So try doing that. Sit down with her & let her help decide what yall can do together. With all the adjustments in her life, she is needing to feel a little more secure, she may also fear that maybe you will leave her rather than the men leaving. Shes scared & its just instict to try & distance herself from you right now. She needs to understand that you will never leave her. Hope this helps & don't think I am trying to judge you in anyway. I am only thinking of the child. Good luck & best wishes.

posted by Kelley on 09/11/2009

I thik Kelley hit the nail on the head. I went thru this with my son. He doesn't adjust to change very well, change of any kind. We would have what we called mother-son day especially after the birth of his sister which he desperately wanted. He would feel a little left out by the baby so I would take her to the sitter then he and I would have basically the entire time to ourselves. Selfish in a way but it was what he needed at the time. He is 27 and when his life gets out of control he will call and ask if we can have a mother-son day. Hope this helps.

posted by Sandra on 09/12/2009

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