cheating wife... -

cheating wife...

One of my closets friends since 2nd grade just left her husband and 2 year old son after cheating on him for the past month. (they have only been married for 2 months!) She just packed and left and hasnt even come to see her child! She was a stay at home mom, so as you can image...her son is pretty upset.

Ive never been too close with her husband, he is an amazing man and did everything for her and their son. And as always treated my family amazingly when we've got to their house for dinner and play dates.

How do I keep my son playing with their son, they see eachother at least every week and my son LOVES him and alway asks for him. How do I keep having play dates without things being so freaking awkward. I really want nothing to do with the women anymore. If you arent happy being with someone, ok. but to just up and leave your child, I can possibley have any respect for her anymore. Its been over a week and she hasnt once seen him. Called a few times thats about it.

Has anyone ever gone through something like this? I dont want my son to lose his friend. And i have lots of respect for the husband, I just dont know him too well.

Thanks

Written by Rebecca

Posted on 11/04/2008

See all posts by Rebecca

Answers:

Hi Rebecca,
Sounds like a tough situation for sure. From what you have described, something has gone very wrong for your friend. Unfortunately, her husband and child suffer too. Although it may be very difficult, can you find the strength to provide extra support for the other child? "Losing" a mother and a good friend (your son) would be even worse. I would imagine that the awkwardness will go away in time. Good luck.
Matt

posted by Matt on 11/05/2008

I agree. i know that you don't have a great relationship with the dad...but the child needs to know that he is not totally alone. i can't imagine all that he has been threw and lose his best friend too. Invite the child over for a playdat so his father can have alone time to deal with anything he might have to deal with. you would be helping the son, and in turn probably helping the father.

posted by Brenda on 11/07/2008

Oh I would never lose touch with them at all! In fact we have been talking on the phone a bit. And tomorrow we have set up a play date with the kids at a childrens museum in our area. They father has been very nice and not weird about the situation at all. So things look great!
Thanks guys!
Becky

posted by Rebecca on 11/07/2008

People are different and things do not always go as we would hope. Try to keep the focus the relationship that the kids have. Does your spouse know the father of your child's playmate? Do they talk? It might help all the relationships if they could.

posted by krahbe on 11/09/2008

Im sure that is a very difficult situation for the child and the father. . but I commend you for being so sensitive to the situation. Some people dont realize how much impact things have on small children. I think its great that you are still trying to keep in contact w/ the father and the boy, so that they will have a friend.
And I know it must be hard for you as well, since you have been friends with the mom for so long. I cant help but wonder if she talked to you about the situation or if her husband had any clue what was going on. What was going through her brain when she started cheating after only being married one month? Why would she even get married if she could be so easily swayed away from her husband?? Some things are just incomprehensible. .
You're doing a great thing by helping the dad and child keep things somewhat 'normal' by still being able to see his friend and have fun.

posted by Amy on 11/09/2008

The sad part is, in March of 08...this happened to another one of my REALLY good friends. Her husband just up and left. And now 8 months later, hes trying to fight her for custody after 8 months of not seeing or talking to his 2.5 year old son ONCE. And so I've seen first hand what can happen to a kid with such a traumatic change. The little boy regressed horribly. He doesn't talk at all. The only word I can understand is "Mama." And hes turned into a very quiet, clingy, whinny child. And now out of no where, his dad pops right back into his life and the little boy is thrown for another loop.

My head will never be able to grasp how anyone can leave their child. Especially after both of them were stay at home parents for TWO YEARS!!

Anyway, no...she never said a WORD to me about. Nothing even hinted towards it. All she spoke about was how amazing her child and husband were. Then one day her husband calls me...and tells me. I honestly thought he was joking. He was just as shocked as I was. No one saw it coming at all.

We've set up a bunch of play dates for some awesome activities going on in our area this month. And when I saw the little boy yesterday at our play date...he seemed to be doing great! The father said that he has not once asked for his mother. Which I find odd. I am not sure if I should be comforted by that, or worried. But he was very happy to see my son and they had a great time!

posted by Rebecca on 11/09/2008

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