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| 7 year old's attitude |
Ok, what would you do?? I took Sydney to KMart last week to pick out some school clothes. She found a toy ($50) that she just had to have. I told her no, and that we would ask Santa for it. She planted her feet and crossed her arms and said "I'm not moving until you buy me that toy!" I jsut stood there and tough, oh no you didn't just say that! I was so very upset, I was shaking. Syd had never done anything like that before. I got down and looked her square in the eyes and told her she was not getting a $50 toy just because, and we were leaving the store now. She cried all the way out. Then went and started telling me very loundly outside how mean I was and how she wanted the toy. I was so embarrased! I grounded her for the week. She later appologized to me, but I'm not sure if she really understands what she did and how I felt. I'm still flustered over the whole thing, and it's been a week. |
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| Let her know that if she wants that toy bad enough then let her pay for it with her own money. |
| posted by Chelle on 09/16/2008 |
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| It sounds like she's either not used to hearing No, or this is was way out of character for her. I know that it can be frustrating when your child acts out in public especially if the act is something they know to be wrong and they dont usually act like that. If you are still so upset about it, you should probably sit down and talk to her and let her know that she really hurt your feelings and that you cant always buy her what she wants when she wants it...and explain how you feel. Let her explain how she felt when it happened, but most importantly she has to understand that behavior is unacceptable. |
| posted by Amy on 09/16/2008 |
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| My children do get spankings. Disrespect is not acceptable, not to mom, dad, family, strangers, teachers, ect. Children learn manipulation quickly if it's tolerated. If they are disrespectful in public, they get spanked in public. I start any type of training as soon as they are aware of right & wrong.A smack on the hand, which they take to heart, is usually sufficient. A smack on the behind, if worse comes to worse. It never takes more than that. I do not condone abuse! They tried disobedience in public, but learned quickly it's handled just as it's handled at home. Our eldest sons now discipline themselves. They give & receive respect. Don't get me wrong, my children will always test, I stay consistent. Somethings are just established and there are no issues with those things. Our sons are very respectable to their elders and peers, in and out of our presence. I often get compliments about their behavior, demeanor, & mannerisms. God says "save the rod, spoil the child." I discipline my children because I love them. I desire them to be a positive addition to society. Our time has already proved successful! |
| posted by Renee on 09/16/2008 |
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First of all, you did the right thing for her by saying no. Kids get scared if they feel they control the parent.
I would make sure she gets your message now/next time you talk or whenever...
1. You will not get things that you want by yelling at the adult, at home or in school. PERIOD. EVER. Got that?
2. If you want something you may ask for it and remind Mom and Dad and submit several requests in writing, and Mom can plan a reward based on behavior for the next thing (birthday, special reward, whatever) coming up. Meaning: its ok for her to let you now as frequently or as creatively as she wants to...it teaches them to persist, persevere and be strong...but again, Yelling at Mom IS NOT the way to do it.(be very clear)
3. If very young, she/he can earn rewards based on chores or responsibilities carried out. Keep it scaled to her level. Feed the cat, etc. She can have a bank account where she puts Grandparent gifts etc, and the for big 50$ items, she can contribute, you may "match" funds based on her behavior and carrying out of responsibilities. See?
4. Don't bother Mommy til she's calmed down from all these antics. Mom, go have a drink. :) good luck.
5. You might remind her of these guidelines before you go out next time too. "Remember, its ok to see something you like, and that is when we plan for things in the future...no stomping of the feet-got it? If you stomp at me, the discusion is immediately over.
6. Watch SuperNanny. Good stuff.
7. As per the writing ahead of mine-physical reprimands are simply not smart. Do you want your child to hit others? Or even the family pet? Or the next baby you have? No.Don't go there. |
| posted by Anne on 09/16/2008 |
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| Thanks all for the words of encouragement! I felt so horrible for disciplining her in the store and grounding her for a week. But in the end I know it was the right thing to do. I did sit down with her later that night, after I calmed down, and explained to her how I felt. First I asked her how she thought mommy felt with that whole scene...then I told her how I actually felt and what she thought. She did appologize to me and said she wouldnt do it again. I told her that toys THAT big are for special occations like birthdays or Chistmas, and not just because I want it. I hope she understood. The next time we went out shopping, she did act better. She found some toys and said "This is neat mom" and told her yes it was, and if it was something really neat we could put it on our "neat toys" list at home. Thanks again to all! |
| posted by Niki on 09/22/2008 |
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| You did the right thing...it is exactly what I would have done. |
| posted by Katie on 10/12/2008 |
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| You did the right thing, and you might want to sit down with her and explain what she did wrong. One of the worse mistakes that I believe parents make is to yell at their children during the problem, rather than sit down afterwards and have a discussion with them. Of course, she also needs to understand that should she do it again, their will be consequences, and it sounds like you did the right thing, even if it was hard for you. Good job! |
| posted by Abigail on 10/30/2008 |
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