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| Help my three year old is violent |
| Since my youngest (who is now one) came along his older brother (who is now three and a half) is very violent towards him. I know that it's all out of jealousy, but there's no telling what my three year old will do. He hits, kicks, pokes him in the eye with things, the other day he was dragging him down the hall by the hood on his sweater. Help!!! I have tried every means of punishment, I've even resorted to spanking which I said I'd never do. It's a very serious situation, but I don't know how to tackle it. |
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| Answers: |
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| Sounds like your son is craving attention. If being mean to little brother get him attention, even negative, he's accomplished his goal, getting your attention. I would suggest spending a lot of time hugging and holding him, while you are being interactive with him and little brother. Show him, maybe to exaggeration, how to play with little brother. I would not allow alone time between the two. At least not until big brother learns how to play safely. Show him how to GENTLY hug, kiss, touch, and play with his little brother, by being the example. Be consistent. God Bless You. |
| posted by Renee on 09/07/2008 |
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| Thanks so much for your advice. I realize that by constantly punishing my oldest, he was probably hurt even more because his little brother wasn't being punished. I'm going to try some one on one time with him and show him the benefits of being an older brother. |
| posted by Jackie on 09/08/2008 |
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My daughter, now five, has had really nasty outbursts. I have learned that it is her way of getting more attention, but how do you give them enough of the good stuff? She has a younger brother and I work part-time. Then there is the fact that my husband travels for work and can be away for very long stretches. I have read and sought a lot of advice about handling her outbursts, because, let's face it, we can't give them everything they need all the time and we can't be 100% consistent in dealing with things in the midsts of everyday, or at least I can't.
I have tried a new tactic at the advice of a behaviorist, to focus (lavish) attention on the hurt party and not the bad behavior. That is not to say you don't discipline, but put less energy into the negative and more energy into the positive. It has slowly diminished the amount of outbursts and hitting. They are both starting to understand that being calm and cooperative gets more attention than behaving aggressively and angrily.
Good Luck! |
| posted by Anna on 09/08/2008 |
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