So tired of this..(VENT) -

So tired of this..(VENT)

I'M so tired of everybody "knowing how to raise my child better than me"!!!! I'M the mommy. I know my child best. I don't cre if you think I'm spoiling him. CRYING DOES NOT HELP HIM DEVELOP HIS LUNGS! I will not let him just sit there and cry because you say it's better for him. If he needs to be comforted, I will comfort him. If he looks hungry, I will feed him. And by God if he's sleepy, I WILL help him go to sleep. Crying it out is not the better solution dammit! So let me be a mother and go look after your own kids!

Thank you!

See also: attachment parenting, crying it out, sleeping,

Written by Mommy Perez

Posted on 09/01/2008

See all posts by Mommy Perez

Answers:

AMEN Jennica!! I feel the same way! If I am not asking you to comfort him, put him to sleep or affecting in any way other than my way is different- didn't you learn in school MYOB!! You stick to your guns girl! I was always there for my kids and got a lot of "opinions" for it but I will tell you what~ my child is so confident and sure of who she is and the ground she stands on nothing stands in her way. She will go into any environment/situation feeling secure and positive about herself. I think it all comes back to the trust that she knows we are there for her!
Isn't it usually the parent whose child is out of control, mean to other kids, etc... that is telling you "they need to exercise their lungs?"!

posted by Jeri on 09/02/2008

I am totally with you!

Vero

posted by Vero on 09/02/2008

Well, said my dear. I have been there...I have someone close to me that watch every little thing i do with my daughter. Our daughter is 2 year old and she sleeps off and on in our bed and in her bed. Well, that person always tells us...you should not allow her to do that...she needs to know where she her bed is and that she needs to sleep there. You know what I tell all those people " If you have a child of your own than you can tell her where she needs to sleep, until then this is my child and this is what my husband and I prefer and if you don't like it you are free to walk out the door" Thank you and have blessed day. Oh, the look on their eyes was unbelievable. But I sometimes ignore them and they don't like it. So, don't listen to anyone your the "Mother" and she is your child and you set the rules and no one else.

grietje
www.kinderbloom.com
Handmade pettiskirt, tutus, hairbows and personalized tank tops.

posted by grietje on 09/04/2008

Well it sounds like people are in need of this sight, these parents are asking for advice. If I want an opinion, I certainly know how to ask for one. Refer them to Raising Them.

posted by Renee on 09/07/2008

Well I have come to know my own and that is why I dissagree with you mommty perez. I have found that early on they become spoiled. My child is three and I see how more spoiled she is from it. Kids are smart from the get go. What you do when there a baby does effect them.

posted by renee on 10/17/2008

mommy perez, I have 3 kids, 16,13,and 2. I don't think that you can spoil them before the age of 3. Then you may want to set your own boundries. I got a ton of advice from everyone and in the end, I was mommy! I did what I felt was best for my children! My children are wonderful younng men! And my 2 year old charmes the pants off of everyone who meets her. The pediatrican, the neighbor and anyone else you meet, sure they have great intentions, but every child is diffent and so are their needs. Listen to your gutt and heart, and everything will be fine!

posted by Heather on 10/24/2008

LOL! My mom does that, it drives me nutso! I'm always thinking to myself, look, I know what kind of mother you were and the things you are telling me to do are the things I hated when I was a kid, so thanks but no thanks. I just come back at her with smart comments, that usually gets her to give it up. We were in the mall one day and this little boy was screaming and my mom was staring at her and made comments to me, then later my daughter started doing the same thing and I said, see you shouldn't have been judging that lady so harshly because my daughter was tired and hot and hungry, the only thing that was going to make her happy was leaving, but we were in line and had to pay and then get back to the car so.... People really do need to mind their own business, they have no idea what is going on with your child or what kind of day they've had, or anything. I say do your own thing and tell anyone who tells you different to mind their own business.

posted by Crystal on 10/26/2008

ASK THEM HOWS THAT ADVICE WORKED FOR YOURE CHILDREN? WERE YOU THE ONE IN LABOR AND DELIVERING THIS BABY,OR WAS I ? , SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO SAY EVERYONE HAS A OPINION BUT THIS TIME KEEP IT TO YOURE SELF.

posted by TABATHA on 10/27/2008

You will always know your child better than anyone else. each child is different and while one baby may need to be held a good portion of the day another may not want to cuddle much at all. No one but you will know what will work best for your child.
As long as you do your homework and think ahead you will do ok. You will make mistakes, we all do.
My daughter and son in law thought it was great fun to let their boys jump on the beds. I warned them they werent going like the outcome of this choice. Sure enough now they wish they had listened. Who would have thought that jumping on the bed would cause so many bruises with a wooden headboard and metal rails?
the one thing worse than everyone giving you unsolicited advice is when someone who has NO kids tells you how to raise your kids. :)
db

posted by deb on 11/08/2008

I have to agree about the whole letting them cry it out thing....I HATE that. babies need affection. They cry for a reason, not just to piss people off! I think you can never comfort your child enough. There is a difference in comforting and spoiling. You know when your child is a little older if they are crying because they need something, or just testing the waters. THEN you dont have to give in every time. I also think comforting them teaches them how to become nurtering themselves.

posted by valarie on 11/09/2008

OMG that drives me crazy too!!!
i ask them which school they got their degree in child-rearing...if they argue, i say "oh, im sorry...did i somehow make you think i was interested in your views on how to be mean to a child?"
God gave us nuturing instincts TO NURTURE our children...when you let a child CYO you either fight your instincts to run and pick them up or you are just being incredibly LAZY and would rather watch tv or sleep than attend to your child's needs...every animal is born with inborn instincts...a child knows to cry to get taken care of and a mother knows how to hold and comfort her child...
it outrages me when people try to give me unsolicited advice on how to raise my daughter...it would be different if i ASKED them, but they take it on themselves to volunteer the information that they think you are doing a lousy job because you let your child sleep with you or (God forbid!!!) pick up your child to comfort him/her...
you keep mothering your child the way your heart tells you to
and tell those cold-hearted people who can listen to the heartbreaking cry of a baby and be unaffected to go to...(well you know)

posted by nikki on 01/01/2009

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