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Is this hard, or am I just a wimp?

Hello Ladies!

This is my first blog and I needed a place to ask this questions to other mothers. I ask because somedays I just want to lock myself in my bedroom, read a book and sip on a latte. Taking care of the kids, cleaning, meals, trying to keep the kids entertain just seems like so much. I never feel like I get it right. I try to tell myself that I am one person and I am doing my best, but that is not good enough. I see other moms who look great and the kids are doing activities and their homes are clean and there kids eat vegetbles and I wonder why can't I do that? Then last night my husband and I had the most frightning revelation... What if we are not doing this right? Surprised

 

Written by Deb
Posted on 08/03/2008
See all posts by Deb
 
Answers:
If you doubt your ability as a mother I think you are fulfilling a basic requirement to be a parent!
How can any parent be sure that they are doing a good job? It is the kind of job when you don't get promotion or bonus, you just try to be truth to yourself, to your kids and don't have any expectation!

Go read that book and relax! This "so" perfect mother do not really exist...

Vero
posted by Vero on 08/03/2008
It is also helpful to remember that even those mothers who look like they have it all together have hard times too...

I cried with my baby for the first time the other day. He wouldn't quit, and I just gave into my emotions and cried with him. Once we were finished, I pulled myself together, and went outside and planted some flowers. I felt better and so did he.
posted by kjhk on 08/04/2008
Thanks ladies. I know in my head this is all true, it's just so hard to convince my conscious.
posted by Deb on 08/05/2008
I think we all go thru the same thing but I tell you even my best girlfriend who always seems to have the perfect mom syndrome admitted to me that she has her days where she too cries with her kids, she said she cried then poured herself a glass of wine and SAT! So I thought I was the only one that wanted the wine at 3pm! guess not.
My point is no one is perfect. Even the women who looks together isn't always, guaranteed. Even after writing this I've regrouped and now I'm ready to be mom again. I was frazzled a bit when i first sat at the computer but ten minutes later and venting I'm better! Thank god for the internet!
posted by Yoni on 08/05/2008
My son is colic and it is really difficult to deal with! I have been a nanny, babysitter, teacher, youth director and everyone says that I have such a knack and a way with babies, kids and teens. That I make it look "easy". HA! It's comments like that that make me cry with my son when it's 3am we are both so tired and so upset we can't handle it anymore! I know I am doing the best that I can and my son loves me and doesn't know any different if I mess up once in a while. He smiles and it makes it all worth while!
posted by Tiffany on 08/15/2008
OMG! I know what you mean. People are always saying how calm I am and how the kids are lucky to have me, but there are times when I just want to be alone with my thoughts. And then feel guilty for feeling that way. But they really are worth it.
posted by Deb on 08/17/2008
Definlity not alone. I actually joined this site because you sound just like me. We love staying home with kids but we are human and have our limits. As far as perfect LOL no one is perfect even if they appear to be that way. Trust me if you could be a fly on the wall all week you would see the imperfections. We only get a glimpse of what really goes on in other people's lives.
PS Definitly not a wimp You are a MOM :)
posted by Mary Ellen on 08/18/2008
Feels good to hear someone else say what I was thinking today. My wonderful son just cried and cried (tired) and all I wanted was to sit down and eat lunch...just this once! After all, I hadn't eaten anything for several hours and I'm nursing. And then I felt bad, collected my beautiful baby, nursed him and realized that this is just life from now on and I suspect my lunch will keep getting cold many a more times. Whew! The life of a mother. You are definetely not alone in your thoughts...
posted by Camilla on 08/18/2008
Guilt and feelings of inadequacy are both requirements of motherhood. ((hugs)) I feel your pain. I really do. Being a Mom is the hardest job in the world. Don't let anyone tell you different. I have four kids at home and there are days that I LOVE having them around. But there are some moments, like last night, where I hand the baby to my husband when he hits the door at 6 and walk out the door for some me time.
BTW, those women you see who look great and have clean houses and perfect lives...We don't see what goes on behind their closed doors. NOONE is perfect.
posted by Erin on 08/19/2008
Mommyhood, is hard work. No wimps here. We all have trying days, the great thing is they come to an end, always. A new day begins. Good and great moments interrupt the madness. Accept help when it's available, Ask for help when helping hands are empty and available. Most people want to help someone. If you ask those mothers how they have it together, they will share the secrets. People may not do things the way you do, but you're the constant figure in your family's lives, who are they going to model? We all need help, we all need a break. Relax. Your are Blessed.
posted by Renee on 09/07/2008
Im just joining this site and seeing a post like this makes me glad that I joined. I have four children 4 and under, and it is hard. I dont know how many of the moms here are single mothers, but I wish I had someone I could hand my kids to sometimes and just have some ME time. I also have the 'luxury' of working full time, (since im supporting my family alone) It is very normal for us to feel like we are doing something wrong or try to compare ourselves to those mothers who 'appear' to be perfect or at least have it all together. But I agree that we dont know what goes on when they are at home.
posted by Amy on 09/15/2008
I have the same problem, too. I have a 2 year old girl who is great most of the time. But there are days I'd like to sell her to the circus!! Like last night, when EVERY sound out of her mouth was a whine! I am also one of those moms whose house isn't spotless and more often than not there are dishes in the sink and laundry that needs to be done. Maybe all of those moms who have the clean house have a maid? LOL
posted by Katie on 11/16/2008
  
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