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| Adding a bean |
 My daughter is almost 1, and my boyfriend and I have decided to try to start trying to have a child. He wants one because he loves my daughter and knows that we are great parents to her, I want one because I love my daughter and would love for her to have a sibling to play with. We have known eachother for over 2 years and have been best friends since then. When Keara's father and I split, he was right there for me and was my support system while I was pregnant. He is a great guy and we hardly ever have any differences, and when we do they are small and we are able to talk eachother through them, but I'm worried that it won't work out with him and then I'll have to go through all the stress of single parenting again, with two children this time. I don't want to disappoint him and say no, being that I want another one as well, but I feel someone needs to be realistic here. |
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| having a baby is a big desicion, and if you ahve any doubt in your mind, you need to tell him. he needs to know. not to discourage you but me and my fiance never ever faught. we have been together for 5 years. babies change everything!!! we had pretty much our first fight when ella was a month old. devastating!!! im sure you know htat thoguh. jsut be honest with him and im sure hell understand. let me know how it goes. how is hte sustody thing going? |
| posted by Devon on 10/17/2007 |
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Some how he just gets me, he is the first guy to understand that when I'm grumpy, it is best to leave me alone. A few nights ago i was just completely miserable and he asked me what was wrong and I told him I was just stressed out and needed to not be stressed out, so he made me a cup of tea and then he took Keara out for a walk and let me get a nice hot shower and have a moment of peace, by the time he got back, I had gotten rid of the stress and all was better.
He is such a great father figure to my daughter...and as soon as he walks in the room her face lights up, as does mine:)! I can't complain much about anything that he does, the only thing that bugs me is that he just can't seem to put a single dish in the dishwasher, but at least he makes it to the sink...and if that is all I have to complain about, then I think I'll live with it. :)
I did have a talk with him last night and told him that I didn't want to risk throwing a new baby into the relationship right now, but we agreed on not trying, yet not preventing. If it happens, it happens, if not, oh well. We are happy as is, no need to rush into more happiness at this time.
As for the custody thing, Keara's father has been having her one overnight I drop her off monday morning (at the babysitter's) I have packed him an outfit for her to wear when I pick her up on tuesday, but he puts her back into the outfit that I dropped her off in. He also has been trying to say that I'm not taking care of her, because one week she had a heat rash, the next week she had a stomach virus, and then the next week she a diaper rash...which was from the diarrhea from the stomach virus. It hasn't gotten better between us, it's only gotten worse, and I can't help regretting not letting him sign his rights over when he wanted to. But oh well, what was done was done and it can't be reversed, I just have to hope it gets better, and do nothing to make it worse( like complaining about the outfit thing, I just keep supplying him with an extra outfit and hope he eventually figures it out... |
| posted by Bethanne on 10/18/2007 |
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| when we started trying for ella thats what we did, not try but not prevent. thats what we told eachother anyways. andhonestly, it is trying!!! lol bc if your not preventing it with birth control or condoms, its trying. i talked to m itch last night about havi ng another baby. i turn 21 november 11 so i wnatt o tryin december. and i get 3 months bc at a time an d that is when im out. but it took a year to the date to get pregnant with ella. and we wnat them to be about 2 years apart, so, i dont want i t to tkae that long a gain. he wants the n ew baby to be born in september, bc hten it wont interfere with summer fishing when its born and it will be old enough by ice fishing to not interfere. lol htats what he thinks!!! gotta love men! if we got pregnant when we wanted, they be about 19 months apart. wheich i think is perfect. i hoipe you guys work it out and do what you both feel is right. how long have you two been "dating"? i know youve known him for ever buthow long have you guys been serious? |
| posted by Devon on 10/18/2007 |
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We've been dating technically since I was about 3 months pregnant so almost a year and a half, but we've been seriously "dating" since right after Keara was born, almost a year.
I want to get pregnant by the end of november, b/c my sister and I are 21 months apart and that would be how far apart the two of my children would be, Plus I was the same age as my mom when she had my sister, as when I had Keara. My sister was born 11/02/79, i was born 8/14/81, Keara was born 11/01/07(my sister swore I would have Keara on her birthday and I almost did! lol), if I got pregnant by the end of november, my new child would be due in august...nifty huh? I would love to basically copy my family! :) |
| posted by Bethanne on 10/18/2007 |
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| that would be cool. better get on it!!! lol what does keara's dad think of your man? i just want to get it done with, my tubes are getting tied after the nextone so, i just want to get it done with. mitch really wants a boy, so i reallyhope the next one is. |
| posted by Devon on 10/18/2007 |
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He hates that Keara thinks the world of him and that she has known my new man as a father since before she was born, and that she cries when she sees him, yet smiles when she sees Bill. BIll has been there for her always, from singing to her in the womb to rubbing her tummy when she was sick last week...
I can't blame him, I don't want Keara to mistake her new step mom as "Mommy" but those issues resolve as Keara gets older.
I am never getting my tubes tied! I want as many kids as my body will allow me to pop out, but i'll settle for 3.
Gender doesn't really matter to us, I got the girl i always wanted. I'd like a girl to really match the family pattern( my sister, me, then my brother) but I'd like to have a boy incase I can't have another baby after the next one, so i'd have one of each. :) |
| posted by Bethanne on 10/18/2007 |
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| i would be happy it makes him mad. like pay back for being an ass or someting. but thats just me. i cant wait ot get prengnant again. i personally want another girl. i always wantede a sister growing up. i had a brother and hated it. so, well see who gets their way. if i didnt turn 21 next month we would be trying now, but i dont exactly want to be pregnant wehn we go out!!! lol |
| posted by Devon on 10/19/2007 |
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| Well it's only been a few short months, but I am happy to announce that we are expecting our first child together in October! We are both so excited right now but we decided not to tell anyone. I figured since I don't personally know any of you, it's not really telling right? i just needed to say it! |
| posted by Bethanne on 02/08/2008 |
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| Congratulations! I hope everything goes smoothly! |
| posted by Ashley on 02/08/2008 |
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