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| husband hates me! |
| Does anyone else feel that their husband hates them? ever since i stopped working and i take care of the baby he seems to hate me and question everything i do and why i am tired since i am home all day and wants to know all about the money i spend. he just seems to hate me more and more. |
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| Answers: |
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Hi Maryanne,
It sounds like he may be jealous. Can you have him spend a full day with your daughter? Maybe then he will know how much you do. |
| posted by on 08/01/2007 |
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Maryanne, I know how you feel. Sometimes my husband makes me justify minute by minute of everything I do during the day with my son and can't understand why it is so hard for me to manage my day.
Funny thing though, one day he had to spend an afternoon with our son while I went to a doctor's appointment in Boston. After three hours, he calls me on my cell phone and asks not to stop by anywhere and come home right away. He complained that he couldn't even take a shower and didn't even get to eat anything. :) |
| posted by kathy on 08/01/2007 |
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I agree. Your husband needs to understand that your job is difficult and that you work hard.
About the money, he needs to understand that even though he goes to a job to earn it, the money belongs to the whole family and not just him. You make just as important a contribution to the household by staying home to raise your child, and I'm assuming to take care of the household as well. Again, I think experiencing what you do in a day may help him understand that. |
| posted by Marcia on 08/01/2007 |
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| i know he should try it for one day but he doesnt. and whenever i can nap like if she is napping, he gets so mad. i just wish he would leave me alone sometimes and let me do what i want to do. |
| posted by MARYANNE on 08/01/2007 |
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| ive been through this myself and it really does suck. i work full time and am now almost 5 months pregnant and suffering from chronic hypertension and +3 edema. yet he still expects me to come home, clean and cook dinner. sometimes men just dont get it. if he's not willing to at least spend a day in your shoes, then tell him to lighten up, its tough enough taking care of a new baby without the stress of non-support from the spouse. |
| posted by lisa on 08/02/2007 |
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| Go away for a weekend if you can, to a friends house or your parents and leave him with your child. Maybe he will respect what you do a lot more. It worked for me. |
| posted by Elizabeth on 08/29/2007 |
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| All of this is good advice, I would also suggest that you ask him questions of concern. Ask if he is worried about not having enough money since you are not working anymore. See if he is interested in creating a budget so that he knows how much is available to spend and you have some money to spend. Be patient with him as he is possibly overwhelmed with total responsibility of paying bills and supporting a family. find ways to cut costs and show him what you did to cut costs. Be a team player and let him know you understand and love him and will work on what he is worried about. Also, do let him take care of the baby for the day while you do something that doesn't cost money as he will associate the stressfulness of watching the baby with you spending money and you don't want that. You can let him know that you are putting $20 away every week so that when you reach a certain amount of money, you are going to get your hair done or something like that. That way he hopefully will not associate the two. hope this helps and remember to love him and be patient with him. ST |
| posted by Susan on 08/31/2007 |
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