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| preschooler with separation anxiety |
| I need help with my 4 year old son's separtation anxiety!!! I have always stayed home with Cole until he started prechool 2 days a week from 8:30 to 11:30 tuesdays and wednesdays back in september. He has always been kind of clingy, but has worked through that as the year has progressed. Now, though, he wont go to the bathroom by himself, he doesnt want to go to swimming lessons, he just wont leave my side- and it is just the same when daddy is home , if not worse! today was the worst ever, his teacher said for about a few weeks he has these moments out of the blue where he just breaks down and noone can calm him down. my husband takes an anti anxiety/anti depressant and it runs in both my family and his family and i am worried that Cole may have a serious problem, i have never seen this before? ANY advice would be extremly appreciated! |
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| Answers: |
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I understand your anxiety because of your family experience but at this stage I think you just have to take as a normal preschooler behavior. Probably because of the separation experience now he has fear that you will leave him all the time. Sometimes kids are not ready for that kind of experience and they need time to realize that they can trust you will be back. My kids did a lot better when they were going to school every day instead of twice a week. They develop a daily routine (the magic word) that helps them not to have some control over their schedule.
Vero |
| posted by Vero on 05/22/2007 |
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| so there is only 3 weeks of school left, next year i signed him up for tues, wed, thurs hoping this will help? we are considering mon thru fri, but then i wonder if that will be too much? ( because of his age he will do pre-k again before actual kindergarten) |
| posted by pamela on 05/22/2007 |
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| My 4 yr old has a fit about going to preschool every morning. In the begining he loved it, but he changed, now he hates it. When I come to pick him up he's fine and happy. My 2 year old loves it, she just like "c ya mom." At first I thought maybe their was someting going on at the school for him to suddenly change, so I found a new school that even has video cams that I can watch from work. And that wasnt it. I hate leaving him so upset every morning, not sure if thiers anything I can do to make him happier to go. |
| posted by cat on 05/24/2007 |
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| okay, we had a visit with coles pediatrician and also a cnoference with his teacher and this is what we all came up with. i think more than an anxiety issue, we are having an indepence issue. cole is not feeling confident with himself, so to encourage thsi i am making a reward chart. rewrds for things that he is struggling with that at his age should not be an issue ( going potty by himself, getting dressed by himself, feeding himself, and i also added a couple of tasks that are not an issue ( feeding the dogs, helping his little sister). Cole is a sensitve child anyway, and the pediatrician thought i may have overscheduled the poor soul, outside of preschool we also had him doing t ball and swim lessons. he suggested we limit one activity outside of school. it has not even been a full 24 hours, and already i notice a HUGE improvement! |
| posted by pamela on 05/24/2007 |
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| Glad to hear you have had improvement. There are some other things you can do to build his confidence. A routine is essential. Cole needs to know exactly what is going to happen in what order. Let him make some choices, like which shirt to wear. Help him form an attachment with one of his caregivers at preschool, if he hasn't already. Let him have a security object with him at school, even if it's just a scrap of cloth that he keeps in his pocket. If he clings to you a lot, then maybe something of yours that smells like you will be good. |
| posted by Marcia on 06/12/2007 |
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| those are such good ideas! school resumes the last week in august and i think i will try those ideas. his teacher is hopeful that a coulpe of months off, he will grow in his confidence. that is my goal this summer. when he goes back (its the same class and same teacher, he will do pre-k twice because of his birthdate), i will pack a picture of all of us in his snack and maybe spray a bit of my perfume on his shirt. heres hoping it gives him some comfort!!! thanks for all of your great ideas! |
| posted by pamela on 06/12/2007 |
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