I was wondering if there are any mommies here who's husbands are military? If so I have a few questions for you. My daughter is a daddy's girl. So much so that when he's home she wants nothing to do with me. It's all cute and fun when he's here. This year however my husband is going to be doing a lot of in and out with his ship. He's currently gone and has been for a few weeks now. Because of this I've noticed a huge change in my daughter. I understand that it's seperation anxiety but I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. It's all wearing on me so much and I feel as if there's nothing I can do. She's 11 months old (or will be on the 15th) and I didn't think that a baby could go through such great anxiety. She's acting out in every way possible, nothing I do seems to make her happy, and it's near impossible to get her to eat normally. She's also teething so I'm sure that adds to the discomfort and makes it that much more difficult to control but I feel like there has to be SOMETHING I can do to help her out. I just don't know what. Any advice would be amazing. I don't have many friends here in VA and the ones I do have with children around her age either work or are in school full time so they aren't able to meet for playdates and such during the day. Since it's winter and snowing quite a bit it's making it that much more difficult to keep her entertained and her mind off of daddy being gone.

Hi Morgan!  My husband too is in the Navy, and he is currently in Haiti on the medical ship, the Comfort.  My daughter is 16 months old, and we are in Charleston, SC.  I wish you were closer, cause I would love to have a playdate!  Anyway, my daughter knows dada is gone, but she doesnt understand, and I don't think she realizes he's gone until I say dada, or we hear his voice.  So my situation is different, but I've done some things to help her remember him, so maybe these will help you, and your daughter.  I put a picture book together with pictures of him and her together so she can look at them, and I'll say "there's dada!"  I also will call his cell phone, (I know he has to keep it turned off), put it on speaker and we listen to his voicemail over and over, and I say "dada!"  I also saved some of his messages that he left on my phone, and we'll listen to his voice that way.  So there are a couple of ideas that really help my daughter feel like she's close to dada, even though he's not here.  With the teething, my daughter loved frozen peas.  So that might help if you think she won't choke on them of course.  Homeade playdo is great, and there are a lot of recipes on google.  Fingerpaints are great too!  There are also going to be times when nothing you do will make her happy, and sometimes you just have to hold her, and let her cry, and tell her you love her.  If I think of anything else that would help, I'll let you know!  Good luck, and hang in there!

Chanda thank you for the tips. I do show her pictures everyday but it seems as if it makes the behaviors worse. I think it might be a "see but not touch" sort of thing...maybe? The fact that she can see him but can't find him or touch him. Just this morning when we went to the living room to play and watch cartoons she went to the door and put her hand against it and said "dada....no dada". So I tried showing her pictures of him and she started searching around the house for him. Have you tried a Daddy doll? I've been thinking of getting one but they're about 22 dollars and I didn't want to spend the money if she's just going to throw it to the side and not take comfort in it.

BTW....I'm from SC and met my husband while he was stationed in Charleston going to school. We're actually PCSing the end of this year back there for shore duty. He'll be an instructor at one of the schools. How much longer are you going to be there for?

Morgan-

You just answered one of my posts as well, haha. Anyways, my husband is a Merchant marine and when our daughter was first born he was gone for a couple months at a time, now it's normally a month at a time. To help her I had an old cell phone and I taped one of his pictures in it and she would pretend to talk to him. We also did movies. He would record a DVD for her before he would leave and she would watch it all through out the day. Obviously your not having a problem with your daughter forgetting her father, but the movie really helps my daughter, even now that shes older and she asks for him all the time. I've never heard of a Daddy doll. Obviously finding activities for the two of you to do together might help. I guess if she's stuck in Daddy mode she might not care so much. Our daughter normally gets pretty mad at me the first few days after my husband has to leave, but she's old enough now where I can explain to her what's going on.

I don't know if I gave you an useful advice, but I know how you feel!

Thanks Lindsey! When he comes home this time I'll have to have him record a movie for her and a few phone messages. Yesterday I was showing her pictures and it actually made her worse but I think if she could hear his voice it'd help some. I also found a few playgroups near by and have a couple of meetings scheduled for the next week so hopefully those will go over well and we'll be able to get out of the house more.

Thank you both for the ideas and help.